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General Parenting
new here - worn out and at my wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 22279" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Michelle, you need to do what feels right to you as a parent. All we're doing is passing along the best advice we know based on the behaviors you are describing and past experiences from our own children and the many families who have come through these boards. Take what works for you and leave the rest. </p><p></p><p>Children rarely have a hard time with specialists evaluating them. It's the parents that have a hard time for a whole variety of reasons. Most kids cruise through the process without much in the way of problems at all. Most *parents* are traumatized. </p><p></p><p>Most of us here take a strong stand that we'd far rather spend the time, money and effort to get a thorough evaluation when the child is young. If it turns out the doctors aren't concerned then all you are out is money. If you decide not to evaluated and down the road realize there definitely was something going on what you've missed is critical intervention time. Some interventions are far more effective when the child is young and the brain still developing at a rapid rate. The other danger point is that the symptoms worsen and then all you and eventually the school are left with "behavioral" reasons. Neurologically typical children of your daughter's age who are raised in loving, stable families rarely exhibit behaviors that you describe on a regular, ongoing basis:</p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: miche</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She is so angry all the time. She hits, kicks, bites, and scratches if she doesn't get what she wants. She is hitting her teacher and friends at preschool. She is hitting me and completely losing all control when I put her in timeout. She yells at me (and husband) and talks back constantly. She screams "no!" at her teachers when they ask her to do something. She NEVER looks me in the eye when I am talking to her (if she is in trouble)and sometimes I swear she ignores me completely. She does things to deliberatlely hurt people, her sister, her classmates, me. From small things like knocking over a tower that her friend just built, to biting her sister for no apparent reason. </div></div></p><p></p><p>If you decide you want to pursue a talking with your doctor about an MDE, let us know and we can give you more info on that. If you need to take smaller steps and just see the psychologist first, then do what you feel is right. </p><p></p><p>Either way, you will want to give The Explosive Child a look. What I found out through that book and the experience of implementing it is that my authoritarian parenting style wasn't a good match for a a child of my difficult child's temperament.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 22279, member: 701"] Michelle, you need to do what feels right to you as a parent. All we're doing is passing along the best advice we know based on the behaviors you are describing and past experiences from our own children and the many families who have come through these boards. Take what works for you and leave the rest. Children rarely have a hard time with specialists evaluating them. It's the parents that have a hard time for a whole variety of reasons. Most kids cruise through the process without much in the way of problems at all. Most *parents* are traumatized. Most of us here take a strong stand that we'd far rather spend the time, money and effort to get a thorough evaluation when the child is young. If it turns out the doctors aren't concerned then all you are out is money. If you decide not to evaluated and down the road realize there definitely was something going on what you've missed is critical intervention time. Some interventions are far more effective when the child is young and the brain still developing at a rapid rate. The other danger point is that the symptoms worsen and then all you and eventually the school are left with "behavioral" reasons. Neurologically typical children of your daughter's age who are raised in loving, stable families rarely exhibit behaviors that you describe on a regular, ongoing basis: <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: miche</div><div class="ubbcode-body">She is so angry all the time. She hits, kicks, bites, and scratches if she doesn't get what she wants. She is hitting her teacher and friends at preschool. She is hitting me and completely losing all control when I put her in timeout. She yells at me (and husband) and talks back constantly. She screams "no!" at her teachers when they ask her to do something. She NEVER looks me in the eye when I am talking to her (if she is in trouble)and sometimes I swear she ignores me completely. She does things to deliberatlely hurt people, her sister, her classmates, me. From small things like knocking over a tower that her friend just built, to biting her sister for no apparent reason. </div></div> If you decide you want to pursue a talking with your doctor about an MDE, let us know and we can give you more info on that. If you need to take smaller steps and just see the psychologist first, then do what you feel is right. Either way, you will want to give The Explosive Child a look. What I found out through that book and the experience of implementing it is that my authoritarian parenting style wasn't a good match for a a child of my difficult child's temperament. [/QUOTE]
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