Hi everyone I'm new here - I am a 47-year old stepmother of a 15.5 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD in 2002. ODD has progressed to CD at this point with no end in sight. He lived with my husband and me (his bio dad) from the age of 6.5 until 14.5 and then went to live with his mother. Although we knew the new arrangement might not work out, we did it anyway as our family was being destroyed by his behaviour, and we had not until that time received any assistance whatsoever from the mother. Fast forward ahead to today. He failed his school year while he lived with her, did what he wanted, did not do what he didn't want to do and was basically unaccountable for his behaviour. He is aggressive, violent at times, verbally abusive and has now been kicked out of school 10 times this year. Caught using pot, not taking his medications (concerta only) and refuses - absolutely refuses - to participate in any kind of sessions with psychologists or social workers. Last night a family assistance worker who has been helping us placed him in an emergency shelter for three days as a means of "cooling off" (he was kicked out of school again yesterday for assaulting a teacher). The shelter will only hold him for three days and then he'll be back. His mother has stipulated that she does not want anything more to do with him and although she did not deign to contact my husband with this news, we got it from the social worker. You might be getting an idea of the family dynamic right about now. I have had this kid in therapy, have been to therapy with my husband, have had him assessed at a university learning clinic and have gotten him a "shadow" at school (that was a few years ago - resources have run out since then). His sister lives with us also (has since the age of six due to security/lack of structure issues at her mom's house) and my husband and I are also blessed with a six-year old who is being manipulated by his older brother and has also been injured by him on various occasions over the past few years. I am glad I found this site again (I used it in 1999 when I first suspected my stepson had behavioural issues) and I am glad to have this additional resource. We have alot of work to do right now including changing his school and fighting for more social resources. Private is also an option but there is absolutely no sense of urgency with any of the professionals we've dealt with over the past nine years. More later but I'm glad I found the site again. Hopefully I'll be able to find some more tools to help us all with this battle.