I am new here, and don't know why I didn't think to look for an on-line support group before. I'm still looking over the forum, learning the abbreviations and such, but wanted to introduce myself and my situation. I've been married for 8 years, and we have 3 dds, ages 8, 6, and 4. From the start, the 6 yo has been a challenge. I knew something wasn't right, but couldn't put my finger on it, and no one would believe me. She has always been "high needs," and I'm afraid of the long-term effects it will have on our other dds. In the late spring of this year, shortly before her 6th birthday, she was diagnosed with ODD. We are on our third therapist, and our first psychiatrist, who did the dxing. I was afraid she was bipolar, but he assured me since almost all of her "problems" are at home, it was more likely ODD, and that if she were truly bipolar, she would not be able to function no matter where she was (99% of her outbursts are at home). I often blame myself, and I guess I'm still in denial, as I've heard several times that ODD is a "made up" disorder. I myself have a major depressive disorder, and have been in and out of therapy since I was 10, and have been on medications for most of the past 12 years. Some days I feel I can't go on. I have enough mental health problems and sometimes don't think I'm strong enough to deal with hers, too. husband is not a great source of support, as he rarely sees her tantrums/viciousness, and therefore usually has a hard time believing me when I say it's as bad as it is. Until recently, he wouldn't even acknowledge that there was a problem. He just kept saying she'd "grow out of it." I've always known that would not be the case. Some days she can be the sweetest thing on the face of the earth, and the next day I'm cowering in the bathroom, sobbing; or comforting my 8 yo, as she and I are the main targets of difficult child's wrath. At her annual check-up last week, our pediatrician told me ODD is rarely the only thing going on. That terrifies me, frankly. I don't feel I'm equipped to deal with everything, and frequently question why? WHY is she like this? I know she can't help it, but dammit, our lives are miserable. She doesn't deserve to be like this, and I cry for her. That ended up longer than I thought it would, so my apologies for rambling.