New here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by swoose, May 10, 2009.

  1. swoose

    swoose swoose

    Hi! I am so glad to have found this place. My husband and I have 3 sons. One challenges us every single day, yet he is "such a nice boy" to people outside of our family. They know he has ADHD, but he'll do anything that anyone besides us asks. Here at home, it's always a fight. He fights with us, he fights with his brother that still lives at home. (His older brother says that he was the main reason that he couldn't wait to move out.) Our difficult child has just turned 17. He does not drive yet because the world is not ready for him to be behind the wheel of a car. His father, younger brother and I get so very frustrated. The stress level around this house is incredible. It will be so nice to finally be able to talk with others that understand. Thank you for being there.:D
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there and welcome!

    Why don't you tell us more about your child and your family? At seventeen it can be pretty hard to get him help. I have a few questions to help us help you.

    1/Any psychiatric problems on either side of the family tree, even if bio. dad doesn't live with you? Substance abuse issues?

    2/ Was his early development normal? Does he socialize with his same age peers well? Any quirks?

    3/Are you 100% sure he isn't using recreational drugs of any kind or drinking a lot?

    4/Are you confident that the diagnosis. is correct? What have you tried as far as getting him help? Is he cooperative?

    You may want to do a signature like I did below.
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member


    You've found a wonderful place for support and advice!

    Looking forward to hearing more from you.
  4. swoose

    swoose swoose

    We have been questioning this for years. It took years of his teachers telling us that he had "focus" issues before we were even able to have him tested for adhd. School counselors and doctors both saying that it wasn't up to them. After all the testing, he could apparently be the poster child for adhd. He has been to the same psychiatrist for several years. He never actually listens to us, just tells Jeremy to listen to his parents and do his homework. He writes out the scrip for adderall and sends us on our way. Very frustrating. We cannot go to another doctor as this is the only one in the area that takes MC plus. We have taken him to 3 different therapists at this same office also. One retired, one gave up and the last one never actually made any progress. She did suggest the ODD though.
    No, there has not been any substance abuse issue. No other mental issues in the family. Not yet anyway! He had driven his younger brother to therapy though for being so tired for his behavior. He's tired of being tormented by his older brother all the time. He's tired of worrying about his parents being overstressed by Jeremy's behavior. His therapist said there's nothing he can do except to ignore Jeremy. NOT working.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and welcome!!

    It sounds like you've been stuck between and rock and a hard place with regards to therapists. It also sounds like you've been stuck with a therapist that is NOT helping your son at all! Very tough situation...

    Is there any chance that there is a church group or charity in your area that offers counseling...?

  6. swoose

    swoose swoose

    Church group? Even that is a touchy subject with him. He will only go to the one his friends go to, because they "accept him for who he is." They also tell him that he is old enough to make his own decisions. I suggested finding one we would all go to, but he won't have anything to do with it. Some of his friends from his church have finally seen how he talks to us. They even tell him that he's being totally uncool with us. It still doesn't sink in.
    Sorry, we've just gotten so frustrated after trying everything available here. The older he gets, the worse it gets.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board!
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I think you misunderstood what I meant....

    I wasn't trying to suggest that your son should "get religious", get more involved with a church/youth group or even suggesting that you should be looking for spiritual solutions.

    It's just that many churches offer free or low cost counseling services at part of their outreach programs. You usually do not even have to be a member of the church to participate. If your financial restrictions are limiting the choice of counselors that you can see--these church sponsored services can be very helpful.

    Good luck!

  9. cyncan

    cyncan Guest


    We went through years of the school telling us it wasn't up to them to evaluate GFGSS - but finally - I found a counselor at the school that really advocated for him - you would not believe how things moved after that. Keep up the good work - it pays off in the end - and bug the school - especially if he is having problems with school work, etc.