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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by my2cats, Dec 18, 2009.

  1. my2cats

    my2cats New Member

    Hi, I am the mother of two boys 5 & 2 and we will be welcoming our third child into the house some time at the end of January. My concerns are with my 5 year old. At two J started acting out aggressively towards my husband and I, the out bursts would happen every couple of months and resulted my either my husband or I holding J to keep him from hitting us, at two J also began throwing his toys, I don't mean typical 2 year old throwing it was all in anger and he had a purpose behind the throwing. During preschool J would refuse to do some of the projects he would rip up the paper and throw it on the floor, J would also make noises and disturb the class. During the 2 to 5 age J continued to have our bursts at home, he would hit my husband and I and would would hold him until it stopped, the episodes only happened every couple of months, then J entered Kindergarten. In the first week of school J had one good day, he tore apart his classroom, and the guidance office, he also hit, kicked, and spit at the staff. After the first 7 day the school asked us to keep J out of school until our scheduled team meeting (J has an IEP for speech). After our teem meeting my husband and I decided to take J out of the charter school and enroll him in the half day program at our local public school. Before we made it to the public school J also started acting out daily at home once we brought him to the local children's hospital because after 3 hours he was still violent and out of control, the hospital was of no help. The next time that he was real bad, my mother in law had come over to watch my 2 year old while I brought J to see a therapist, well J refused to go and when I pushed the issue he started throwing anything and everything he could get his hands on, he was hitting, kicking and spitting at my mother in law and me, he was also throwing stuff at both of us. In desperation I called my husband at work to come help and I called the pediatrician. It took three of us to get J to the psychiatric hospital emergency department that day, we were transferred to a childrens psychiatric hospital where J spent 9 days inpatient, 6 days in the day hospital and then was transferred to a pedi partial program held on hospital grounds. The program works with children with behavioral difficulties up to age 6. J spent 4 weeks at the partial program. During J's stay at the partial program and the inpatient program J was diagnosed as having anxiety, adjustment disorder, possible ADHD, possible learning disability, and they said that he was showing dyslexic tendencies. J is currently taking 5mg of Prozac for the anxiety. J started school the second week of November and had no outbursts for the first 5 weeks, then this week something happened, on Tuesday he ripped up a paper that he was working on the threw it on the floor, then when the teacher was pushing in chairs getting ready for dismissal J got up and pulled them all out again, on Wednesday the school called us after 45 minutes to come get J because he had been hitting, and kicking, on Thursday J made it until 20 minutes before dismissal when he ripped up another paper and then threw it, today (Friday) J ruined some books and threw a bunch of them around the class room, he flipped over some chairs, and was hitting, kicking, punching and spitting. The behavior for the most part has been at school, we did see some hitting and kicking at home right before bedtime but with holding him in bed and repeating every day for a week and a half it has really cut down the outbursts. So now I am just stuck, J has a new therapist in the area where we live but he does not know her very well yet, I don't know what to do to break this terrible cycle that has started once again. I want my son to be able to go to school and have friends and learn.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there and welcome, but sorry you have to be here :tongue:

    If you could answer some questions, we can probably direct you better.

    1/Has he ever been evaluated outside of school by somebody like a neuropsychologist? in my opinion it sounds like more than ADHD to me, as a layperson.

    2/How were his milestones as far as: speech, making good strong eye contact with both you and strangers, playing appropriately with toys, does he have any strange quirks besides the odd noises, any obsessions (such as turning lights on and off or repeating television show verbatim or repeating things he heard on commercials, can he transition well, does he have sensitivites like to loud noise, certain textures, light, crowds? Any toe walking?

    3/Are there any psychiatric issues on either biological side of the family tree?

    Others will come along.
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I'm sorry you and your little guy have been through so much. My son struggles with many of the same issues.

    Seeking further evaluation is a must. Be cautious of an ADHD label. These behaviors are more than ADHD and should a doctor recommend stimulant medications used to treat ADHD it could increase his aggression if he is misdiagnosed. Working with the school to find the appropriate placement and finding appropriate behavioral therapy will help but it is important to first get an accurate diagnosis. Is there history of mental illness in your families. Has he been evaluated to see if he is on the autistic spectrum?

    I'm sorry you need to be here but glad you've found us. You will find a wealth of support and advice here.

  4. jal

    jal Member

    I'm sorry.

    My difficult child is 7 and you just described him at that age. That's how he was at exactly the same age. Destroyed class rooms, hit, kicked etc. It started at the age of 2.5 for us. He was thrown out of daycare for the first time at around the age of 3. He's been through 3 others since then. He cost me my job of 9.5 years. I will be honest that we've been on this for years with-him and now he is better, it's not perfect, but better. I used to get so bruised from holding my child who is freakishly strong and having him bang his skull into every chest bone, facial and arm bones I had.

    We've gone through psychologists (some well known published author & professor from an ivy league univ, ugh), multiple psychiatrists, medications, therapists, behavioralists, neuropsychs, and in home services. Our difficult child is now placed out of district in a therapeutic school and doing very well.

    My child had a breakthrough academically earlier this year with-the addition of Prozac, but he has also trialed many others (that didn't work) and he takes it in conjunction with-a mood stabilizer too.

    Has your child been evaluated by a neuropsychologist?

    Is there a family history of mental illness/substance abuse?

    Welcome. This is a GOOD place to be.
  5. my2cats

    my2cats New Member

    MidwestMom: J was evaluated by the psychiatric hospital, they did testing to see where he is education wise and said he showed signs of having a delay, and that he was showing signs of dyslexia. Unfortunately most of the tests start at age 6 so they were not able to give him as many tests as they would have liked. J was also evaluated and found not to be on the autism spectrum. While at the pedi partial hospital more testing was done and I had to answer many hours worth of questions concerning our family psychiatric history and how J reacts to situations.

    J does have a speech delay, he has been receiving services since he turned two, at this point his delay is in articulation and while J should be seeing a speech therapist twice a week at school his behavior is getting in the way of him getting the services that he needs, we also have a hard time getting J to vocalize what he needs or wants. Other then speech J hit all of his mile stones either on time or early. I do feel that J has some sensory issues, at the initial onset of loud noises he covers his ears (fire alarms, baby crying etc..), J also has a hard time handling or feeling wet goopy substances. J is supposed to get evaluated by an Occupational Therapist (OT) for Sensory integration problems but once again his behavior has made it difficult for the school to fully evaluate him. Since starting J on medication he had begun to suck on his clothes, I think it might be a coping thing??

    To anyone who has not seen J explode they are usually shocked to hear about the problems that we are having because to see J and talk with him you would never know. J does not have any Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies, his walking, running, Jumping are normal, he plays appropriate with toys and makes good eye contact.

    There are a ton of psychiatric issues on my side of the family (we don't know my husbands family history other then alcoholism). On my side there is me I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, we have ADHD, depression, Bi-polar, substance and alcohol abuse, chemical imbalances, and my sister attempted suicide a couple of time when she was younger. I know there is more but I just can't think of all of it. On my side of the family every sub family has psychiatric illnesses. It begins at my grandmother, has hit all of their children either directly or through their children and now we are seeing it in their children's children.

    Christy: I don't buy the ADHD label, while J can be hyper, he is able to sit through circle time at school and if there is a project that he wants to do he can sit and work on that, the problem happens when there is something that he does not want to do or if there is something that he finds difficult. On Wednesday J is seeing a new psychiatric doctor and I don't know what he will suggest but I am wondering if J needs some kind of mood stabilizer but at the same time I worry about giving him too many medications because while we have some bad days we defiantly have more good days, then again lately at school there are more bad days then good but yet when he gets home he is generally fine. The exception is when he gets wired and then he almost looks for trouble.

    I am not sure what more J could be diagnosed with he is generally not oppositional, he does not seem to have the hi's and lows of Bi-polar and for the most part is a fairly normal child except when presented with something frustrating for him, or something that he strongly does not want to do. J also will tell us about 75% of the time when he is feeling anger and we try our best to help him cope with that.

    jal: J is also very strong he does not hit, kick, bite, head slam with all of his might yet, I worry when he does pull out all of his strength. I think we are also headed in the direction of a therapeutic school, I don't think that the local school district is going to take much more of his behavior. I have a meeting with the school on Monday morning and one of the therapists has already said that maybe J is just not ready for school yet (he turned 6 in June) but I don't buy that, I think taking him out of school and then starting Kindergarten again next year is only putting the problem off because academically if J puts some effort into it he can handle the work. My only concern is weather J's social emotional development needs more time to develop. Not to mention I think taking J out of school is only going to teach him that if he acts out violently he gets to leave school.

    J ahs not be evulated by a neuropsychologist, I am going to start checking around and seeing what my insurance will cover.