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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by aabesh, Jan 16, 2011.

  1. aabesh

    aabesh New Member

    Hi I'm Renee mom to Nigel Aabesh 13.Nigel has a weird mix of disabilities.Born in India at 33 weeks with Osteogenesis Imprefecta(brittle bones).2 skull fractures at birth resulted in cp.We adopted him knowing the physical disabilities.once home about 4 1/2 severe ADHD,Bipolar and intermittent explosive disorder were manifesting and diagnosed at 5.The mental health stuff is so much harder than the physical disabilities
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi Renee, and welcome! First off, if you have used your last name, we need to remove it from your introductory post and also get your user name changed. We try to protect our members' identities. If it's just a nickname, don't worry about it.

    My oldest has severe CP and my next son has bipolar. I wholeheartedly agree that a physical disability is a much easier issue to deal with. It's more... concrete (for lack of a better word), while the symptoms of mental illness ebb and flow and you never really know what's coming next.

    So glad you found us, and again, welcome!
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Heya. I have absolutely no advice or intelligent questions for you (though I am somewhat familiar with the explosive disorder), just wanted to say hello and welcome you to a place I've found very helpful and understanding.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi and Welcome! It sounds like you have your work cut out!

    There is a lot going on with him, isn't there? I know what you mean about the physical being sort of easier to handle. Mental illness is never easy. We often start with a lot of questions, so here goes? Who diagnosed him (what kind of doctors/therapists/etc)? Has he ever had a complete neuropsychological evaluation? Has he had a recent sleep deprived EEG to rule out seizure disorders? Sometimes what looks like Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and ODD is actually a seizure that isn't one of the traditional types. Seizures can cause all osrts of behavior, not just thrashing on the ground with what we think of as seizures. It all depends on the part of the brain it is happening in.

    What types of docs are treating him? Do you think he has the right diagnosis, deep down in your gut? What medications is he on? What kinds of problems is he having? How is he doing in school? Does he have an IEP (individualized educational plan)? Is the school helping or making things worse? Does he have sensory issues (picky eating, tags or fabrics that bother him, seeks or avoids loud noises or certain types of movenent? etc...)

    We have some books that we highly recommend because they have helped lots of us. The first is "The explosive child by Ross Greene. It may seem counter intuitive but it really works for many of our kids. "WHat Your Explosive Child is trying to Tell you" by Doug Riley is also very very helpful, esp with a chld with Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). "Parenting your Teen with Love and Logic" is an excellent book that stressed using natural and logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. It is very empowering to parents from my experience. "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous is regarded as the bible for parenting a child with bipolar. It explains the illness and treatments very very well.

    these are a good place to start reading (well, continue reading as I am sure you already have read a lot!). I look forward to getting to know you better!! Again, Welcome!!!
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Renee,
    Adding in my welcome; glad you found us as we are a very supportive group.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Renee, welcome!

    I have only met one kid with-brittle bone syndrome. Of course, my son decided to tackle him. :( Long story, but they ended up being good friends for a yr, until the kid went to another school.

    You certainly have your hands full with-all those dxes! Bipolar and intermittent expolosive disorder, sheesh! I guess he injures himself when he blows up?

    by the way, please go back and edit your post and remove your son's real name, so you can protect your identities.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, Renee. If you need to make any changes, ask a moderator to help and they can wave their electronic magic wand and fix it. A pity we can't fix our kids' problems the same way!

    I have a cousin with a mild form of OI. His lungs kept collapsing, until finally they had been fused to his rib cage and there could be no more problems. He's doing well, he's a grandfather now.

    I really get you about the physical stuff being easier. A neighbour of ours, a little boy, acquired CP after a near-drowning. He and difficult child 3 were classmates at pre-school, and they both had support services. But it was interesting - I spent time with this boy, and he was easier to babysit than difficult child 3! I could talk to the CP neighbour, even though he was non-verbal. But he understood, he could follow directions, he could sit quietly and contribute (one way or another). He learned to communicate via computer, and I believe has been doing well in school.

    And you've got a double-barrel set of problems! Part of the temper outbursts could be frustration, he may still be adapting to his disabilities. It does take time. Before they begin to adapt, it is (I think) the worst time.