New here

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mudbarbie0729, Mar 27, 2012.

  1. Hi I am new here. We are having a rough time with our son. He turns 14 Saturday. He was suspended from school last week for 3 days, due to a manic episode. He went back to school yesterday, got 5 referrals in 2 days.....since the suspension my family has distanced themselves and the resource officer is ready to take him to JJ. Just needed to vent, feel very alone....
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Is he in special education? Sending him to JJ is not going to help him get well. He sounds more like they need to place him in a better program that can address his mental health needs. Can you get an advocate and call an IEP meeting? I am so sorry you are going through this...Your son has rights (as do you) and you can get them to do better..... Do you mind telling us more (type of program he is in, what kind of behavior plan he has etc....)
  3. Yes, he is ESE but when he does his work, when it is above average and doesn't need ESE classes. He has an IEP that isn't followed closely because he is failing. They are working on an FBA because he is almost at 10 day suspension. They are now giving him Saturday school. He takes 60 mg vyvanse, 2mg intuniv, fish oil and lexapro in morning and clonidine 0.3 mg and 2mg intuniv at bedtime. Thank you for your response, I really have no one.
  4. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm going to move this over to the General forum for more responses..

    You are definitely not alone. You will find comfort and advice here. Welcome.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    If he is bipolar and having severe manic epsidoes, why is he not on a mood stabilizer??? All the behavior interventions in the world cannot help a child who is medically unstable. Can you get him into his psychiatrist for an emergency appointment?? Do you have nay good phosps available to you?
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I am so glad you came to this board. There are a lot of us here who do understand. How long have they been working on the FBA? Does he have a bip (behavior intervention plan) already that they are trying to revise or is this his first one? It sounds like his placement is not optimal. Even if he is very bright, if he needs teachers who understand mental health challenges then he should be with them. If he is failing then he deserves their support. You can call and IEP meeting at any time. IT is your right. Can you get an advocate?

    I would also support you in going to see your psychiatrist and letting him/her know that things are going so terribly wrong at school. If he is falling apart and being sent home, failing classes etc... and you see he is manic then he must need his medications looked at. I know if medications are off for my son then there is no hope for behavior plans to work. Do you have an appointment coming up soon? If not can you ask for an emergency appointment?

    How are you doing? What do you do for yourself? Can you do things socially with difficult child? How does he do in public and with friends? It is so hard to have a child with these kinds of special needs. Not many people understand how much stress it really is. how we can't turn our brains off some days for all the worry. Tell us more, would love to get to know you!
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi mudbarbie, welcome. I cannot give you any advice because I have different issues with a grown up difficult child. However, I feel your aloneness and I want to put my cyber mother arms around you and comfort you with the words, 'you are not alone anymore, you have ALL of us.' You are dealing with a lot, with the person you probably love the most, who has issues which are a struggle for him and for you. I know how you feel. Many here know how you feel. Keep venting, keep talking, it helps a lot. Listen to others who've been there, take what feels right, leave the rest here. But, do allow yourself to feel supported and acknowledged for all you do and what you feel. Big hugs to you dear Mom. Find avenues of support for yourself, that will help a lot too. Others here will let you know support systems for what you in particular require.
  8. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    i''m going to second jjj--you need to look to the medications, asap. some kids can tolerate stims/ad's once their mood is stable, but usually not until then...and both can cause severe mania.

    i highly suggest an emergency psychiatrist appointment, or, if they feel treatment is appropriate, find a new one.

    i wish you luck!
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is the schools answer? Send him to ANOTHER day of school?!?! That does not seem like a logical answer for someone struggling during school. The IEP has to be followed, does not matter how he is performing. What are they giving up? Maybe the IEP needs to be modified to try some new things to improve the performance. But, like someone above said...if it is unstable, there is not much that can be done at school to get him on track.

    I agree with a medication check.
  10. silverlining

    silverlining New Member

    Hi, I'm new here also, and wanted to second from our experience what has been said about stimulant medications. The Vyvanse jumped out at me from your post. I gather that some people do very well on it, but our son started showing signs of mania when he took it (20 mg) - nonstop monologues you could not interrupt, talking about things that are not real -- and we had to stop it. The other side effects were stressful too - appetite suppression & weight loss, irritability & arguments every day about nothing - but we were trying to deal with those as the price of being able to function at school, since he was failing everything before. We tried Intuniv alone but it was not enough, even with an IEP at school and very patient teachers he was failing again and not able to do school work. He's now on Intuniv and Focalin (also a stimulant but our doctor says not in the same group as the Vyvanse) and he's like a different kid. I would not have thought switching stimulants could make such a difference, so I guess what I'm trying to say is it might be worth a try to see if it lessens certain symptoms.

    I wish I could offer more help. I hope that things will get better for you and your son.
  11. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I also have a son who is bipolar. It can be a very difficult illness to deal with, especially during the teen years. He could not control his inappropriate behaviors until put on a mood stabilizer. I agree with the others that it is time to speak to his psychiatrist about his current medications because they are not working.

    I'm glad you found this site! The first time I came here was when my oldest son was about the same age as your son. You are no longer alone!

    Thinking of you and sending many hugs your way... SFR
  12. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Hi and welcome. You've been given some good advice already. Keep coming back and sharing with us. Everyone will do their best to help as best as we can.
  13. Thank you all. I have the psychiatric dr on speed have requested meeting upon meeting we meet things are promised and not followed thru, at school. We have requested an IEP revision but the ESE facilitor retired. His psychiatric dr is wonderful. He actually had a good day today, surprisingly. All of the teachers single him out. It hurts because he is a loving, compassionate child, but he has never been invited to a sleep over or birthday party. He acts great in public, he races, golfs we have Disney passes. The sad thing is because he doesn't cycle around us, family members think he can "help it". Needless to say I have distanced myself from them. My get away is work. I have my husband and we are a strong unit. I just get scared thinking of the future. Thank you all, it feels good to talk and not feel people are thinking I am making excuses for my "bad child"....again thank you
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    There is a HUGE difference between excuses and an EXPLANATION. I hate it when people think we are trying to make excuses when we really do have to consider limitations, skill deficits, triggers, health, medications, etc. It is reality.
  15. I agree