iempoweredhealing
New Member
Hi- just wanted to intro myself...glad to know that things can be better and worse and I am just feeling overwhelmed after fighting the problem with no help, no medications, being blamed for it all and being told it was all me and my parenting...though this is questionable in my mind as I was a childcare worker for about 20 yrs...been there, done that with the 'parenting' skills and stuff for years and classes :smile:
Anyway...my difficult child is now 9 1/2 classic ADHD/ODD diagnosised after several rounds of testing from the time he was 1 1/2 until he was 5 when he told the psychiatric to go screw himself he wasn't doing it and then hid under the exam table screaming for over an hour until I could pick him up :smile: they wanted to put him on medications for the ADHD and told me the ODD was mostly like the result of bad parenting (uh, hello, I have an older child who is NORMAL). But anyways, I decided to not go the medications route and have done everything possible to keep from putting him on medications as I know the consequences biologically of some the stuff long term and too much isn't known and well, no good answers for some of the questions. I am a certified counselor, massage therapist, started nursing school (quit...too much stress at home) ordained minister, certified preschool teacher, certified herbal counselor and clinical aromatherapist...in otherwords I am dangerous lol, know too much and ask too many questions. But after 9 yrs of dealing with knock down, drag out temper-tantrums, defiance, and more I have had it. I do the options, I do requests and resort to spanking after being pushed to the limit for the millionth time in 1 hour. His impulsiveness is getting worse as he gets older to the point that my house has become a prison for my younger childerns sake. I do reiki with him (helps for like 2 hours) aromatherapy (problem is compliance with using it) homeopathy (compliance again) and now have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks for medications from his easy child. On top of all this I deal with my own stress related health issues of Graves disease which makes things difficult. My husband (my difficult child's step-father) is BiPolar (BP)/ADHD/sober alcoholic (10yrs) is no help and thinks I am nuts for putting him on medications finally but HE certainly doesn't help with things (by the way he is not on any medications himself, refuses) so I got double trouble and now my 3 1/2 yr old thinks that NORMAL is what her brother does and the 2 yr. old just looks at everyone like they are nuts LOL...my own circus come home to roost.
I can and could go on and on. Parent education classes are for people with NORMAL children (these people make me mad beyond belief) and while some works some of the time most of the time the things taught just become fodder for manipulation by my difficult child (it takes him about 2 seconds to figure things out and then he's twisting it). The only thing that I have found that works to stop the power struggles and get compliance on any level is what I call my secret weapon...a flip flop...I will 'spank' with it...he screams and yells it is hurting him, cries like the dickens and the the rest of day acts like a normal child...now before anyone gets of the hook about spanking I do not do this on a regular basis (have thought about it) and I am NOT HURTING HIM...I leave no marks (not even a slight red spot) it through clothing and it makes more noise than anything, in fact, he has been over heard bragging that 'my mom thinks she's hurting me but really she's not'. I hate doing this but at what point in the power struggle do you just do what you have to as long as no one is getting hurt?
He does well in school academically as long as I keep my hands off of things, socially he's pretty limited with only 2 real friends (both of which by the way are ADHD/ODD/BiPolar (BP)) and he's really very sweet and gentle when he's not 'in a mood' and left to his own devices (meaning does what he wants, when he wants).
Anyway...I am here looking for alternatives before I get really sick myself from all the fighting and trying to teach him how to live in this world and keeping everyone safe...stress plays a HUGE factor in managing my own disease and with no family around to help (his bio dad is on the MIA list again, dealing with his own crap)and not a lot of money at the moment..well, lets just say that short of stopping at a green light and running naked down the main road in town I need support from people who 'get it'.
anyways, that's my story and I am sticking to it :smile:
blessings and peace,
Rev. Laura Bradley, RMT, CCA
Anyway...my difficult child is now 9 1/2 classic ADHD/ODD diagnosised after several rounds of testing from the time he was 1 1/2 until he was 5 when he told the psychiatric to go screw himself he wasn't doing it and then hid under the exam table screaming for over an hour until I could pick him up :smile: they wanted to put him on medications for the ADHD and told me the ODD was mostly like the result of bad parenting (uh, hello, I have an older child who is NORMAL). But anyways, I decided to not go the medications route and have done everything possible to keep from putting him on medications as I know the consequences biologically of some the stuff long term and too much isn't known and well, no good answers for some of the questions. I am a certified counselor, massage therapist, started nursing school (quit...too much stress at home) ordained minister, certified preschool teacher, certified herbal counselor and clinical aromatherapist...in otherwords I am dangerous lol, know too much and ask too many questions. But after 9 yrs of dealing with knock down, drag out temper-tantrums, defiance, and more I have had it. I do the options, I do requests and resort to spanking after being pushed to the limit for the millionth time in 1 hour. His impulsiveness is getting worse as he gets older to the point that my house has become a prison for my younger childerns sake. I do reiki with him (helps for like 2 hours) aromatherapy (problem is compliance with using it) homeopathy (compliance again) and now have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks for medications from his easy child. On top of all this I deal with my own stress related health issues of Graves disease which makes things difficult. My husband (my difficult child's step-father) is BiPolar (BP)/ADHD/sober alcoholic (10yrs) is no help and thinks I am nuts for putting him on medications finally but HE certainly doesn't help with things (by the way he is not on any medications himself, refuses) so I got double trouble and now my 3 1/2 yr old thinks that NORMAL is what her brother does and the 2 yr. old just looks at everyone like they are nuts LOL...my own circus come home to roost.
I can and could go on and on. Parent education classes are for people with NORMAL children (these people make me mad beyond belief) and while some works some of the time most of the time the things taught just become fodder for manipulation by my difficult child (it takes him about 2 seconds to figure things out and then he's twisting it). The only thing that I have found that works to stop the power struggles and get compliance on any level is what I call my secret weapon...a flip flop...I will 'spank' with it...he screams and yells it is hurting him, cries like the dickens and the the rest of day acts like a normal child...now before anyone gets of the hook about spanking I do not do this on a regular basis (have thought about it) and I am NOT HURTING HIM...I leave no marks (not even a slight red spot) it through clothing and it makes more noise than anything, in fact, he has been over heard bragging that 'my mom thinks she's hurting me but really she's not'. I hate doing this but at what point in the power struggle do you just do what you have to as long as no one is getting hurt?
He does well in school academically as long as I keep my hands off of things, socially he's pretty limited with only 2 real friends (both of which by the way are ADHD/ODD/BiPolar (BP)) and he's really very sweet and gentle when he's not 'in a mood' and left to his own devices (meaning does what he wants, when he wants).
Anyway...I am here looking for alternatives before I get really sick myself from all the fighting and trying to teach him how to live in this world and keeping everyone safe...stress plays a HUGE factor in managing my own disease and with no family around to help (his bio dad is on the MIA list again, dealing with his own crap)and not a lot of money at the moment..well, lets just say that short of stopping at a green light and running naked down the main road in town I need support from people who 'get it'.
anyways, that's my story and I am sticking to it :smile:
blessings and peace,
Rev. Laura Bradley, RMT, CCA