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New & here's my story (for today)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 34680" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Oh boy, I can so relate to the way people criticise you for parenting! At least you have husband around - often a lot of the blame makes reference to you trying to do it on your own.</p><p></p><p>The medication - difficult child 3 is on medications for ADHD. Technically they're not for his anxiety, but because the medications help him focus, he gets less anxious about the otherwise unpredictability of the world around him. When he can make more sense of the world, it is less frightening for him. The medications also helped him concentrate well enough to 'get' the whole concept of communication (not a problem for your son).</p><p></p><p>And we've been told there ARE medications for anxiety. The doctor put difficult child 3 on antidepressants, but they don't work for him. He seems to have a metabolism for them like mine - I get all sorts of different weird reactions to them, although difficult child 1 can take them and they did help his anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).</p><p></p><p>other things for anxiety - cognitive behaviour therapy; learning to breath slowly and deeply (difficult child 3 is supposed to practice every night, taking 6 seconds per breath, from the diaphragm and not the upper chest). meditation/visualisation, especially if he can help choose what to visualise - find a place that he likes, where he feels safe and relaxed. Take photos of it, visit it regularly and practice meditation while there, take samples of dirt from there if it's that sort of place - anything which will help capture the smell. Then like the breathing, keep practising it.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're home schooling him. That classroom sounds like it wasn't working for him. It would have been a good technique for my difficult child 3, but like anything we try - if it's not working, stop doing it. It's like medications - if nothing else is working and you're desperate, and a doctor seriously suggests medication, then give it a try. If you see a dramatic improvement than it's a good thing. If there's no improvement to speak of, then there's no point in medicating him.</p><p></p><p>How to cope with criticism - learn to nod and smile. And then quietly do what you feel is right. If you keep getting hounded, just point out that YOU live with it, they don't, you have already tried a lot of more conventional techniques and for some kids, they just don't work. Tell them you're writing your own research paper on the results and you'll give them copies when you're published.</p><p></p><p>Because for your son, YOU are the expert.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 34680, member: 1991"] Oh boy, I can so relate to the way people criticise you for parenting! At least you have husband around - often a lot of the blame makes reference to you trying to do it on your own. The medication - difficult child 3 is on medications for ADHD. Technically they're not for his anxiety, but because the medications help him focus, he gets less anxious about the otherwise unpredictability of the world around him. When he can make more sense of the world, it is less frightening for him. The medications also helped him concentrate well enough to 'get' the whole concept of communication (not a problem for your son). And we've been told there ARE medications for anxiety. The doctor put difficult child 3 on antidepressants, but they don't work for him. He seems to have a metabolism for them like mine - I get all sorts of different weird reactions to them, although difficult child 1 can take them and they did help his anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). other things for anxiety - cognitive behaviour therapy; learning to breath slowly and deeply (difficult child 3 is supposed to practice every night, taking 6 seconds per breath, from the diaphragm and not the upper chest). meditation/visualisation, especially if he can help choose what to visualise - find a place that he likes, where he feels safe and relaxed. Take photos of it, visit it regularly and practice meditation while there, take samples of dirt from there if it's that sort of place - anything which will help capture the smell. Then like the breathing, keep practising it. I'm glad you're home schooling him. That classroom sounds like it wasn't working for him. It would have been a good technique for my difficult child 3, but like anything we try - if it's not working, stop doing it. It's like medications - if nothing else is working and you're desperate, and a doctor seriously suggests medication, then give it a try. If you see a dramatic improvement than it's a good thing. If there's no improvement to speak of, then there's no point in medicating him. How to cope with criticism - learn to nod and smile. And then quietly do what you feel is right. If you keep getting hounded, just point out that YOU live with it, they don't, you have already tried a lot of more conventional techniques and for some kids, they just don't work. Tell them you're writing your own research paper on the results and you'll give them copies when you're published. Because for your son, YOU are the expert. Marg [/QUOTE]
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