new idiot.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Fandango, Nov 7, 2017.

  1. Fandango

    Fandango New Member

    Hi. New to here, building up courage to talk about stuff.
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Welcome Fandago;

    We are all here and listening. No judgement. All in the same boat.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Yep yep.
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    If that is your photo in your profile you any want to change it so keep more anonymity.
  5. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Welcome, Fandango. Talk when you are ready.
  6. Fandango

    Fandango New Member

    Hi all and thanks so much, I'm sorry things are tough and also glad it's not just me ! It's such a taboo cutting out a child from your life. I'm in the UK by the way.

    Started when my only son, now 21 was 14. Truancy, smoking weed etc. I got help from social services and school at this point. Basically, he became violent and aggressive to me and we got to a point where we couldn't live together. Over the years from 17-21 ten different supportive homes, offering mental health support etc that he wouldn't engage with. He couldn't follow rules and evicted from all. Doctors appointments etc made to help- never attended.

    Recently evicted again, he's suicidal and missing currently. I'm at a point that I have to cut off ties unless he's got a job, off drugs etc. I have done all the sensible things, police and social services aware of what's going on.

    I've developed good coping mechanisms over the years but it's still oh so hard.

    Thanks again all and sending love :) x
  7. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Detaching with love for our AC and our selves is what we need to do to survive and not help them kill themselves.
    You didn’t Cause it
    You Can’t cure it
    and you Can’t Control it

    My son is currently back home 18 yers old. Under an agreement to keep, clean, attend school and abide by house rules. Has been on drugs and truant and all the wonderful stuff that goes with it since he was 15.

    Strong boudaries, no enabling, and pointing them into the direction of help. This is all we can do.

    My husband is originally from Yorkshire. :biggrin:
  8. Fandango

    Fandango New Member

    Thank you ! Beautiful Yorkshire, we go there lots :) I'm hope things are going well with your son being back at home. It's a struggle in my experiences because you desperately want it to work and also have some doubt. Hope it is okay.

    I'm glad you're reinforcing my feeling, it's so hard to talk about out of close family, (I have a brilliant partner and parents) as it's not 'the norm'

    I appreciate you've cared to reply. It's really helping. Thank you :)
  9. Fandango

    Fandango New Member

    I have a lovely puss cat called Barry who is always a distraction :)
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • List