New issue today!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AmyH, Jun 25, 2008.

  1. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    Last night our dog cowered down to difficult child. He has never done this before. Our little guy said the dog kept yelping when difficult child held him. They were home for about 1 1/2 hours alone today.

    I hate them being alone but both my parents have passed and my in laws live an hour away. My sister who usually watches them had to take hubby to a cardiologist.

    Anyway, he picked up the dog and petted it saying "see i'm not a monster". This scares me. He also got mad last night because we made him stop popping fire works (he had been warned 3 times that he was to close to the house) on the 4th time he had to quit for the night. Well, he got mad and burnt himself. This is the first time he hurt himself on purpose.

    Should I be extremely freaked out, or is this just par for the course?
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, it sounds like it is time to find some way to make sure that they are not left alone. With my difficult child, things like this don't get better on their own- I have to make changes. I think I'd pull every firework away from him, too, permanently. I'm not suggesting that you panic or freak out- but consider these red flags and warnings, in my humble opinion.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would never leave them alone. Ever. And, yes, I'd be afraid--all evidence points to difficult child hurting the dog. This little guy really needs help. I wouldn't trust him at all with the other child or the animal. It sounds like more than "Aspie" to me. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are often great with pets and do not tend to be cruel--unless they have a co-morbid problem. Was this child ever abused that you know of? Is he also adopted? What do you think about the Zoloft? Zoloft can make difficult child's really act out badly. It can cause kids to become, at best, just agitated and, at worst, violent and psychotic. If he has been worse since the Zoloft, I'd think of THAT, especially if it has been a few months that he has been on it or the dose was boosted. I really DON'T like antidepressants for kids--I've taken so many myself and I know that they can cause as much bad as good...depending..
    Sorry to be blunt. This is my take on it. (((Hugs)))
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'd be definitely trying to find a way to keep him from being alone, but I also know that's not always

    That said, I wouldn't flip out, but I would let his therapist know, and ask their suggestion, as well as keep a close eye for any other red flags. These things are concerning.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    In our state, it is illegal to leave a 7-year-old with a 12-year-old watching him. You need to check on the laws in your state. If something happened to either child while you left them alone, you might risk CPS becoming involved as an additional problem.

    Hurting animals and hurting self are huge red flags in my book. I'd recommend immediate consultation with both the psychiatrist and therapist. This boy needs immediate attention.
  6. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    In our state anyone 12 and over can be a sitter. But I hate for them to be left alone. Yesterday was rare. My brother in law had to go to the cardiologist and sis needed to take him. Due to the issue and the fact that my father just died with heart trouble less than 6 mo ago. We did not want to freak the kids out. We have no other family to watch them around here.

    He is usually a very loving kid, but the last few days have been awful. He said he did not hurt the dog on purpose and when he burtn himself he just looked like why did I do that. Then later he said I did not like doing that. I was just so upset. He said his head feels like it is swimming all the time and if the door opens everything will flood out.

    I just really don't know what to think. To answer a few ?'s.

    He is not adopted, I had him at 19. I just never could have anymore. His bio-dad and I divorced when he was 3. His dad stayed in Mo. and I moved back to Ok. At dads wish. Then dad moved here with new girlfriend, then when he was 5 dad moved to NY for no reason. And could not understand why difficult child was upset. Dad came back after 1 year. He has 2 1/2 brothers over there and feels left out alot. Step-mom diagnosis with Bipolar. Dad and SM seperated for a year before diagnosis because of her attitude and her treatment of difficult child. Now dad is blind to anything difficult child says about her treatment of him.

    After divorce difficult child and I lived with my mom who died on Christmas morning 2004. We were very close to my dad who died this past Dec.

    After my divorce I was in a 1 1/2 long abusive relationship. difficult child not hurt physically, but mental scars.

    To me this kid has been through alot.
  7. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    I have the same problem with what to do with difficult child when I'm working. No daycares will take him, and no babysitters either. So, we have left him alone. We've also left my easy child in charge of his younger sister on many occasions, starting when he was 12 and she was 7, with no problems. But, we never leave difficult child, who is now 12, with the younger sister, no matter what. I've brought him to work or called in sick. I know how it seems impossible, but I've made it a point to not leave them at home together. Luckily, we have a couple of neighbors that I can usually leave my daughter with if it's only going to be an hour or so.

    I think hurting the animal can be a red flag, but I don't think you should panic. My difficult child is usually great with animals but he did once get mad at his dog and bit him, probably when he was about 10. He thought since the dog bit him, he could bite the dog. We had a long talk with him about how dogs think differently than him, and why it's important to always be nice to animals. Our difficult child doesn't seem to get how his actions may affect other people (or animals), so we have to explain it over and over to him and give him real examples. We did tell his psychiatrist but nothing came of it, and it hasn't happened again that we're aware of. If it's a habitual thing or he was doing it for his enjoyment, then I think there's cause for concern.

    Sounds like he's been through a lot, plus you have the puberty hormones and pre-teen attitudes. You said it's been the last few days. Have there been any changes in routine? Maybe he's cycling (bipolar tendencies).
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    You didn't mention how long he's been on the Zoloft. That particular medication can be extremely problematic. Sounds like he may be having some physical symptoms too.
    Even if he's had it tough so have a lot of kids. He has some big red flags--cruelty to animals and hurting himself. I'd get him a neuropsychologist evaluation, but work with a psychiatrist too. in my opinion they haven't figured him out yet--it could be so many things. But I was told to be very alert of three issues as they are Big Warning Signs: Cruelty to animals/starting fires/wetting or pooping in inappropriate places.
    Please take these warning signs seriously, even if they turn out to be happening due to the medication (which is certainly possible).
    Our state allows 12 year olds to babysit too. However, it is unwise to allow a difficult child to babysit, regardless of age, no matter what. It may be hard, but it's probably best for now to take the kids with you...good luck.
  9. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    He has been on the Zoloft since Nov. he was started on 50mg and about 2 months ago they increased it to 100mg for his anxiety.

    He has severe anxiety, it does seem some better but things just aren't right.

    I have heard things about him being on a ADHD medication also, but after last psychiatrist appointment she said we could wein him off so we tried that for three days and he was unbearable.

    I am just so confused on what to do.
  10. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Zoloft made my Youngest manic, and that side effect was one of the first things that pointed to her bipolar diagnosis.
  11. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    He was manic also so they put him on Abilify and that didn't work so they put him on Geodon. It is like everytime we have a concern the psychiatrist doesn't look at what he is already on she just gives him a new medication.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I suggest and MDE at a childrens hospital.
  13. AmyH

    AmyH New Member

    He is seeing someone at a pediatric psychiatric hospital. husband took him to his last visit and was telling her of his actions. Staying awake all night, acting babyish, argumentative, rages. Then he asked if Concerta can cause any of this and she said "I don't think so but you can try him without it" "Cut him down to 1 pill x 3 days then off." We did not even make it past the three days. My sister could not handle him during the day.

    I just want some answers.
  14. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Everyone struggles with difficult decisions but I would not leave a child with mental health issues home alone.