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Substance Abuse
new member...am I paranoid?
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 647741" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Hi and welcome,</p><p></p><p>Your post could have been written by me when my son was 16. I also found empty pens all over, as well as other paraphernalia. He only tested positive for pot, with a full spectrum home test I bought in CVS. However, he was using meth also, but it must not stay in your system as long as pot does. In either case, it doesn't matter. He will lie if you ask him, so why bother? If it quacks like a duck... My husband made our son do the test in front of him, but if I were a single parent, I don't know how I could expect to do that. I can tell you that you can drive him to the police station and at your request, they will drug test him. I don't know how you'd manage that, though - you'd have to somehow get him out of the car and into the police station willingly - probably not going to happen. We invested in a full home alarm system, and set it every night because son was escaping out of the house after we were asleep. Lock your purse, house and car keys up in your room. Invest in a lock on your bedroom door that you can lock with a key when you leave your room. He won't be able to go in there and take anything of value. Isn't this sad? It's like living in a prison, but you have to do this. Remove the TV and skinny jeans. Take the pen to the police. This is warfare. If you're not giving him money, then he's getting it from some other means. No matter how manipulative he gets, you have to stay strong. We're here for you.</p><p></p><p>Our high school had an excellent guidance dept. and mental health professional. They put us in touch with a psychiatrist who actually helped. The professionals at school got involved and we had meetings together with son. He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive - he smelled all the time, and his room and sheets had an odd, almost metallic odor. He'd kick our doors and walls and make holes everywhere. His skin broke out, he looked awful, and he lost a lot of weight. He was no longer himself; he didn't feel like our son - he didn't act human any longer. We were at our wits end - our home life was hell and we were always 2 or 3 steps behind what he was doing. Schoolwork was a zero. I felt like I had to play detective all the time. We live in a nice neighborhood and one of the dealers was an older teenager across the street. I remember running outside like a psycho screaming at this kid, and his mother for not doing anything. I became as insane as my son had become. My husband thought I was going to have a stroke. The good/bad news is they're always stupid enough to get caught eventually. Collect and hide any lighters, paraphernalia, etc. you find. If a police officer escorts him home, show the officer what you've collected, and tell them you would like him drug tested at the precinct. If he steals anything of yours, press charges. Our son managed to call CPS on me because he told the guidance counselor at school I hit him. When CPS interviewed me, I pulled out a large box of all the drug items I confiscated, and showed them the holes in our walls, and gave them a tour of his room. They closed the case, but if I hadn't had that evidence, who knows what would've happened? Find a resource at the school who will give you advice of where and whom to turn to next. Visit your son's pediatrician or even your own medical doctor an ask their advice. Inpatient treatment centers don't usually take kids your son's age unless mandated by the courts. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.</p><p></p><p>In our case, when son turned 18, we stopped supporting him entirely, unless he pulled it together. He had a taste of what the real world is all about, and we had finally agreed to stop chasing him and let consequences catch up to him. He's pretty much straightened out, but his personality is very manipulative and narcissistic whether or not he is using drugs, so we have a cordial, but somewhat distant relationship. But he works a steady, responsible job and goes to school full time, and has to cook and clean for himself, and go to the Laundromat, and food shop, etc. I will tell you that I do not ever want him to live with us again, even though he's not using meth. Too much water under the bridge.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 647741, member: 13882"] Hi and welcome, Your post could have been written by me when my son was 16. I also found empty pens all over, as well as other paraphernalia. He only tested positive for pot, with a full spectrum home test I bought in CVS. However, he was using meth also, but it must not stay in your system as long as pot does. In either case, it doesn't matter. He will lie if you ask him, so why bother? If it quacks like a duck... My husband made our son do the test in front of him, but if I were a single parent, I don't know how I could expect to do that. I can tell you that you can drive him to the police station and at your request, they will drug test him. I don't know how you'd manage that, though - you'd have to somehow get him out of the car and into the police station willingly - probably not going to happen. We invested in a full home alarm system, and set it every night because son was escaping out of the house after we were asleep. Lock your purse, house and car keys up in your room. Invest in a lock on your bedroom door that you can lock with a key when you leave your room. He won't be able to go in there and take anything of value. Isn't this sad? It's like living in a prison, but you have to do this. Remove the TV and skinny jeans. Take the pen to the police. This is warfare. If you're not giving him money, then he's getting it from some other means. No matter how manipulative he gets, you have to stay strong. We're here for you. Our high school had an excellent guidance dept. and mental health professional. They put us in touch with a psychiatrist who actually helped. The professionals at school got involved and we had meetings together with son. He was verbally and sometimes physically abusive - he smelled all the time, and his room and sheets had an odd, almost metallic odor. He'd kick our doors and walls and make holes everywhere. His skin broke out, he looked awful, and he lost a lot of weight. He was no longer himself; he didn't feel like our son - he didn't act human any longer. We were at our wits end - our home life was hell and we were always 2 or 3 steps behind what he was doing. Schoolwork was a zero. I felt like I had to play detective all the time. We live in a nice neighborhood and one of the dealers was an older teenager across the street. I remember running outside like a psycho screaming at this kid, and his mother for not doing anything. I became as insane as my son had become. My husband thought I was going to have a stroke. The good/bad news is they're always stupid enough to get caught eventually. Collect and hide any lighters, paraphernalia, etc. you find. If a police officer escorts him home, show the officer what you've collected, and tell them you would like him drug tested at the precinct. If he steals anything of yours, press charges. Our son managed to call CPS on me because he told the guidance counselor at school I hit him. When CPS interviewed me, I pulled out a large box of all the drug items I confiscated, and showed them the holes in our walls, and gave them a tour of his room. They closed the case, but if I hadn't had that evidence, who knows what would've happened? Find a resource at the school who will give you advice of where and whom to turn to next. Visit your son's pediatrician or even your own medical doctor an ask their advice. Inpatient treatment centers don't usually take kids your son's age unless mandated by the courts. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. In our case, when son turned 18, we stopped supporting him entirely, unless he pulled it together. He had a taste of what the real world is all about, and we had finally agreed to stop chasing him and let consequences catch up to him. He's pretty much straightened out, but his personality is very manipulative and narcissistic whether or not he is using drugs, so we have a cordial, but somewhat distant relationship. But he works a steady, responsible job and goes to school full time, and has to cook and clean for himself, and go to the Laundromat, and food shop, etc. I will tell you that I do not ever want him to live with us again, even though he's not using meth. Too much water under the bridge. [/QUOTE]
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