New member Betty responding to: My son is now one of the homeless...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by betty, Oct 27, 2015.

  1. betty

    betty New Member

    It could be me writing that letter. I am having the same issues, son is homeless because he doesn't work. It is all my fault for leaving his dad, whom he is just like, he won't quit drinking or doing whatever he is doing, it was at one time crack. He texts me hurtful things, says I need help, but could I find a place for him to go to rehab close to my house? He had issues with his baby mama, talks terrible about her but still wants to be with her because of his son. I know he loves his son, but why doesn't he do something so he could be in the child's life? As it is, he probably could not get visitation with him. So sad that all these young men want to blame their problems on anyone but themselves. Their bad choices. I do not know what to do either. He cannot live with me and my husband. I still work everyday and so does my 70 yr old husband. Please if any one has answers let me know . I refuse to enable him anymore.

  2. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hi Betty, I have to write fast-off to work. You are posting on an old thread, that is probably why you don't have replies.
    So sorry for your troubles, dear, it is so very, very tough.
    This is a soft place to be, with many who will offer help and advice and soothing heartfelt words.
    I will write more later.......
  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi, Betty.

    The answers are for you to live your own life now, and try to detach from your son and his self-made problems.

    You are right--enabling has not helped him. It doesn't work for our DCs. If anything, it only serves to keep them dependent on us and not on themselves.

    Thee is an article at the top of the Parent Emeritus Board on detachment that you should read.

    Welcome to the boards. Stay with us. It will help.

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  4. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Betty just remember it is the addiction talking. And try hard not to engage because there is no point. At the worst I just said very little except I love you and I am sure you will work things out. Less is more while they enmeshed in their addiction. We have to turn and live our own lives and find joy and happiness elsewhere. He will turn around if and when he decides to and not one minute before. We can only do so much and we have all done all we can and more. It's time to to let go and live our own lives. But it is still hard and we all understand here. Warm hugs tonight.
  5. Ylowbutterfly

    Ylowbutterfly New Member

    Betty, I can relate so much, my 24 yr old daughter is refusing help being offered to help her reset, her poor life choices have now left her homeless and me as the mom emotionally and physically drained. I suspect she is or was using drugs, witnesses have told me, I have a 16 year old son and I have to protect him from her drama which is why she is not welcome to come live with us. She just started another job which then makes me want to help her until she gets check to keep motel room, but logic tells me this is a vicious cycle she is on. So here I am up past midnight losing sleep over all this