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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629889" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>If he is saying he will go to treatment, be sure to have that lined up as soon as he is out of jail. My son (now almost 25) has been to treatment (including 10 days detox and a week in a psychiatric unit) some five times. He has not gone willingly and was not ready so has continued to use. </p><p></p><p>However, something sinks in while they are there, and you never know. You just never know. </p><p></p><p>So when they agree to go, send them if you can, and if you can afford to.</p><p></p><p>I am now hoping that one day my son will ask for treatment, and he will really be ready, and I will be willing to send him again, and pay for it.</p><p></p><p>Until then, he is not welcome in my home, he has not had an address for a year (homeless, rehab and jail, like a revolving door), and he continues to do the same things over and over again.</p><p></p><p>He just got out of jail again almost a a week ago. </p><p></p><p>Drugs are an awful awful scourge on our families, our country and ourselves. And particularly on the addicts themselves.</p><p></p><p>If you "have a feeling" your son is using, and he is hanging out with drug users, and he is stealing, and he has used in the past...well, if walks like a duck...</p><p></p><p>Not to be facetious, but what you usually know about a drug addict is the tip of the iceberg. </p><p></p><p>I am very sorry that you are dealing with this. </p><p></p><p>The best thing I can say is this: start studying about your own self and the effects of his behavior and using on you and your family. Go to six Al-Anon meetings until you decide if Al-Anon is right for you. It has saved my life and my sanity. Read Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend and CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie. Another really good book about addiction is When The Servant Becomes the Master. Pray, meditate, write down what you want to happen and what your boundaries are with your son, take good care of yourself. Find your Higher Power and work on that relationship. </p><p></p><p>We can't control another person. We can't make another person stop doing anything. We can only control ourselves. </p><p></p><p>Dealing with what you are describing, you and we need all of the help we can get. I am very very sorry, and I do understand. We all do here. Please keep sharing with us. We respect your decisions, and will offer care and concern, regardless of what you decide. Warm hugs tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629889, member: 17542"] If he is saying he will go to treatment, be sure to have that lined up as soon as he is out of jail. My son (now almost 25) has been to treatment (including 10 days detox and a week in a psychiatric unit) some five times. He has not gone willingly and was not ready so has continued to use. However, something sinks in while they are there, and you never know. You just never know. So when they agree to go, send them if you can, and if you can afford to. I am now hoping that one day my son will ask for treatment, and he will really be ready, and I will be willing to send him again, and pay for it. Until then, he is not welcome in my home, he has not had an address for a year (homeless, rehab and jail, like a revolving door), and he continues to do the same things over and over again. He just got out of jail again almost a a week ago. Drugs are an awful awful scourge on our families, our country and ourselves. And particularly on the addicts themselves. If you "have a feeling" your son is using, and he is hanging out with drug users, and he is stealing, and he has used in the past...well, if walks like a duck... Not to be facetious, but what you usually know about a drug addict is the tip of the iceberg. I am very sorry that you are dealing with this. The best thing I can say is this: start studying about your own self and the effects of his behavior and using on you and your family. Go to six Al-Anon meetings until you decide if Al-Anon is right for you. It has saved my life and my sanity. Read Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend and CoDependent No More by Melody Beattie. Another really good book about addiction is When The Servant Becomes the Master. Pray, meditate, write down what you want to happen and what your boundaries are with your son, take good care of yourself. Find your Higher Power and work on that relationship. We can't control another person. We can't make another person stop doing anything. We can only control ourselves. Dealing with what you are describing, you and we need all of the help we can get. I am very very sorry, and I do understand. We all do here. Please keep sharing with us. We respect your decisions, and will offer care and concern, regardless of what you decide. Warm hugs tonight. [/QUOTE]
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