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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New member - frustrated and concerned
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 703098" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Concerned. So sorry you have had to come here. </p><p>There are many on this site with good advice, take what you like, ponder the rest.</p><p>Those of us who are adoptive parents are still <em>parents,</em> at the heart, always wanting the best for our children. The nature vs nurture question can remain, mattering so much less right now to you than the facts. He is 18, has been in trouble a few times and is in trouble again. It does sound as if you have done all you can, over and above to point him the right way. You love him, that is obvious.</p><p></p><p>It helped us early in our struggles with our son to set small boundaries. If your son did not take responsibility, financial and personally, in the past (shoplifting, stealing $) then have him do that this time. This one's on him and should be. All of it. That being said, I agree with SWOT about being very careful with your $ and bank info. We thought our son would never do that. We were wrong. Once drugs/alcohol are involved, the whole picture changes. Our son, like yours, was driving, ours was no doubt impaired many times. Be sure you are not contributing to this -His car, his insurance, his gas $? </p><p>I do get the backing off on the antidepressants. We had to do that also as it seems pretty silly to hand an adult their medications and watch them take them (or pouch them or "forget") it was obvious he didn't want to and we couldn't make him.</p><p>My heart goes out to you. This is so very hard. Be strong, you can. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 703098, member: 20054"] Hi Concerned. So sorry you have had to come here. There are many on this site with good advice, take what you like, ponder the rest. Those of us who are adoptive parents are still [I]parents,[/I] at the heart, always wanting the best for our children. The nature vs nurture question can remain, mattering so much less right now to you than the facts. He is 18, has been in trouble a few times and is in trouble again. It does sound as if you have done all you can, over and above to point him the right way. You love him, that is obvious. It helped us early in our struggles with our son to set small boundaries. If your son did not take responsibility, financial and personally, in the past (shoplifting, stealing $) then have him do that this time. This one's on him and should be. All of it. That being said, I agree with SWOT about being very careful with your $ and bank info. We thought our son would never do that. We were wrong. Once drugs/alcohol are involved, the whole picture changes. Our son, like yours, was driving, ours was no doubt impaired many times. Be sure you are not contributing to this -His car, his insurance, his gas $? I do get the backing off on the antidepressants. We had to do that also as it seems pretty silly to hand an adult their medications and watch them take them (or pouch them or "forget") it was obvious he didn't want to and we couldn't make him. My heart goes out to you. This is so very hard. Be strong, you can. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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New member - frustrated and concerned
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