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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New member - frustrated and concerned
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 703122" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome!</p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with but you have found a good place to be here with us.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a slippery slope. If you do get him a lawyer, he may interpret this as "I don't have to worry about getting in trouble, mom and dad will bail me out"</p><p>Also, getting him a lawyer is no guarantee that he will stay out of trouble.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I never retained a lawyer for our son but we made sure that we were always there at his court hearings. My feelings are this, if someone manages to get into trouble with law then they need to own the consequences no matter how bad or hard that may be.</p><p></p><p>We raise our children teaching them right from wrong. They make choices to not obey the rules whether it's house rules or the rules of society or the law, they need to deal with the consequences of those choices.</p><p></p><p>It's a very personal choice that only you and your husband can make. There are no right or wrong answers. You know your son better than anyone and that should help you decide if or when you would get him a lawyer. Be prepared that your son may try and manipulate you into getting a lawyer for him. These types of tactics are very common with adult difficult children.</p><p></p><p>Again, I'm so sorry for what you are going through.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 703122, member: 18516"] Welcome! I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with but you have found a good place to be here with us. This is a slippery slope. If you do get him a lawyer, he may interpret this as "I don't have to worry about getting in trouble, mom and dad will bail me out" Also, getting him a lawyer is no guarantee that he will stay out of trouble. My husband and I never retained a lawyer for our son but we made sure that we were always there at his court hearings. My feelings are this, if someone manages to get into trouble with law then they need to own the consequences no matter how bad or hard that may be. We raise our children teaching them right from wrong. They make choices to not obey the rules whether it's house rules or the rules of society or the law, they need to deal with the consequences of those choices. It's a very personal choice that only you and your husband can make. There are no right or wrong answers. You know your son better than anyone and that should help you decide if or when you would get him a lawyer. Be prepared that your son may try and manipulate you into getting a lawyer for him. These types of tactics are very common with adult difficult children. Again, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. ((HUGS)) to you........................ [/QUOTE]
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