Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lothlorien, Feb 4, 2009.
This is a new poster. She posted on WC. Here is her post.
Hello and Welcome!
The first thing that jumps out at me from your post is that your daughters are participating in some very dangerous activities while you are at work.
Even though they SHOULD be old enough and responsible enough to stay at home (I assume they were at home?) by themselves...for many of the parents here, what our kids SHOULD be able to handle at their age and what they can ACTUALLY handle (based on their maturity and abilities) are two different things.
Is there any responsible adult around (a neighbor or a relative perhaps?) that would be able to keep an eye on them for you to ensure their safety? I think that would be the very first thing to address--both for the safety of your children and to give you some small peace of mind that you will not return home to a scene that requires another call to 911.
Hang in there! We are all here for you to offer advice and support...
No help, but welcome aboard!
This board moves pretty fast. I'm pushing your post up so others have time to see it.
Aw Hon, it seems like the immediate threat may be the "drug" use. I would sure try to get a handle on that behavior before I even tried to jump in and address anything else. Is this the first time you've known about them sniffing glue? Do you know anything about their friends? What did the police have to say about the drug use?
I'm sorry you're going through this, especially while trying to hold down THREE jobs!! You must not have a second to yourself! These teens can sure get themselves into a mess, can't they?
Welcome! I wonder if you could contact social services or the police department to see if there are any adolescent chemical dependency programs that your oldest daughter would be able to attend. I would think if she is huffing that she should be able to qualify for some program. You may be most comfortable with an outpatient or day program, however, you may also want to find out now about inpatient programs. If she is getting worse, there may be a time that you would like to consider that option and having the information now will put you one step ahead in that decision.
So, basically, my advise is to research the options you have. Maybe there is something out there she is ready for now and maybe there is something you just want to know about and keep on the back burner "just in case."
Her medical doctor may also have knowledge of adolescent chemical dependency programs in your area. If you do know of a facility, you can contact them direct. Ask for the admission's officer who can answer questions about meeting the criteria for an admission. The facility I work for had both outpatient and in-patient adolescent programs. We no longer provide inpatient services for the adolescents but we still have a strong out-patient program.
Welcome to the board!
first off I want to welcome you to the board. I cannot imagine what it is like for you to be working three jobs and dealing with this type of behavior. I see that your daughter is medicated. I would call her doctor immediately and let him know of the Huffing. That is absolutely the worst thing a kid can do to themselves! You were 100% correct in calling the police on them but an overnight visit to juvie solves nothing. It only serves as a cooling off period, it addresses nothing of her issues. I advised you to call her doctor because he can order her into either a hospital or a treatment center. She is under the legal age so she cannot yet refuse treatment. You still have power over her. Once she turns 18 there is little you can do unless she is willing. I agree with Daiseyface in that your girls cannot be left alone. I'm so sorry because it is obvious your life is very difficult and getting someone to oversee them is just one more thing for you to deal with. Unfortunately they leave you no choice in this matter. -RM
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