HiThank you all for your encouraging words. All great thoughts. Ultimately it is his decision. As long as my parents keep providing him housing, I know he still won't be forced to know what if feels like to fend for himself. Perhaps that is what will shake him. Only time will tell.
I ended up having a decent valentine's day with friends and we had the first warm weather day in months. I really savored the peace as I walked in a park. I used to take nature walks all the time before the difficult child drama began 2 years ago. I almost remembered what that felt like. Warm weather makes me happy. Maybe I have seasonal affective disorder, this has crossed my mind. I get pretty down in the winter days. But that's another show. ha
I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend and enjoying some bit of peace..
I'm from UK and just browsing on line seeking help to understand my daughter when I came across this site and have been reading threads on and off most of the day.
Wavering faith, so touched by your story , your honesty and your strength and clarity of mind. As it is Septemeber 2015 Im wondering how you are.
I have 18 yr old daughter, who is extremely, highly academic and as a child the joy of meeting with her teachers and learning of her achievements and gifts and talents left me walking on cloud 9.
She was a quiet child, popular sensitive and always well behaved.
However looking back I remember how she would never reply when spoken to, called for dinner, get ready to get in the car we're waiting
This and many other incidents has now lead to a child who can't look at me. Never tells me where she is. She hates the fact that she will be financially supported by me (university)as she wants nothing to do with me and does not want to " owe" me anything. ( thank you, birthday card, Mother's Day card, how are you)
Still married to her father who is a liar, emtionally abusive,and makes no secret of the fact he visits prostitues
Having no money I had to endure the situation which I thought was best for them ( boy of 15) now nearly 58 if I split and take my share of money it will not be enough to buy anywhere, can't move to another area due to work and other child school. Can't do anything to disrupt son while at school
She is dirty, moody, does not eat or sleep. Very quick to anger and her facial expression always tightens when she turns to look at me. The wave of hate is what I call it. Her father is also dirty in the house and my request to shut cupboard doors, bring down washing, place cups in dishwasher rather than piling them up beside it only lead to dispute. Where both call me swear words, a nag , and if you're so bothered do it yourself. Of course I then leave things go and say nothing and at times he will move a few things and proclaim sainthood. I know he was role modelled for her, but with such intelligence how can she choose his way. She is a darling with her friends.
I hate coming home and often delay at work, park some where and Pray. Over time I have discovered Oppostional defiant disorder and was staggered to have some evidence that I'm not crazy and they both fit the bill. So much more has happened which would be too much for now to write. No help here in UK, people don't know what your on about and doctors don't know where to send you for help and advice. I do mean me and not my daughter ( of course there is nothing wrong with her)I live a very straight life, just work and back. Have isolated myself as I do not want to reveal any area of this to people for the shame I feel. The only thing I have found so comforting is a Christian church and on line ministers form the U.S. Having said all the above I really do believe in God to turn this situation around and give me back my daughter as there is nothing and no one who can do it. He can do what he likes with the husband. All you ladies are brilliant to still be standing and I realise how much more you have suffered, Compared to what you have just read by me. I support the decisions you have made to " put them out" there have been one or two people who say it worked for them when they were the problem child. No matter where we all are in the world Mums have it tough. I have tortured myself so many times, question what I did and did not do,if I had the chance to go back in time how far back would I need to go to catch it at the start and fix it.
I'm rambling sorry, it's late here .x