New Member Looking for tips

[Nomad]

Welcome. I'm so sorry to read of the stresses you face having two special needs children.
I think you did the VERY best thing seeing a counselor weekly. This would be too much on anyone's plate. You absolutely need to have support and a lot of it. In fact, you might consider seeing the counselor 2x a week now and again. You might want to find a therapist some time soon for your child with bipolar disorder as well. The teen years can get very rough. Check out a book called "The Bipolar Child," by Dr. Paplos for good/helpful parenting tips. LIkewise, educate yourself on high functioning autism. Not all parents will understand the tremendous burdens you bare. Try to find one or two exceptionally good friends to share your life with. Consider checking out your local NAMI group.
And as much as possible, enjoy life when you are able. It might take some creativity and extra work, but now and again, get a babysitter (sometimes I would get two sisters to come over for a few hours to babysit....when my daughter was at her worst, it took two people to watch my two kids) and go out with your spouse for a "date night." Do what you can to get some relaxation time. Protect your child who is autistic from any violence. Do not tolerate this. Be assertive/careful and mindful of the situation. Get as much help as you can. Others might know if you can receive social security benefits. I know in some cases families can get these funds for their special needs children....regardless of income.

 

[Morningglory]

@ Nomad-
Thank you for the advice. I do have everyone in In-home intensive counseling at the moment. + my own out of the house counseling once a week. This is all just starting so my stress levels are still very high. My 2 boys do receive SSI this has been very helpful. stressful now that I'm hearing so many threats from the government about reducing who can receive benefits or reducing the amounts being received.

I want to thank everyone for the advice I have gotten.

 

[Morningglory]

Ohhhh boy, I can add more stress to my situation.Thank goodness intensive counseling starts today. Darn it I wish I could speak more clearly

Just found out one of every parents worse nightmares. I'm learning more and more that my sons issues are NOT his fault.

 

[Morningglory]

Counseling started today, difficult child was able to get some very serious issues out and laid on a table for her to help him with. I am very proud of him for being able to talk about things, maybe we will find he isn't ODD at all. Maybe he had some built up trust issues and started building a thick brick wall. I'm glad we were able to catch this before that wall got too strong.

He is excited to start his new school this year. I'm hoping this will help keep him socially active with peers and learning respect for others while me keeping an eye out for him and hopefully court etc can see that he is not a danger with the safe environment we have created at home.

I'm feeling better today. Maybe I can feel free to chat up my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kiddo to the grp.

 

[Liahona]

I am so sorry something bad happened to him. Its great he was able to talk about it. Just getting info out of difficult children is so hard. At least healing can start now.

 

[Morningglory]

Amazing how when one opens up and tells painful truths how much better they feel. My difficult child hasn't been arguing as much, he has been polite and willing to talk. for the first time ever. It's killing me I didn't know, It's killing me he has been angry for years with us for not helping him with this. I am so thankful for him coming out with his pain and now talking about it, maybe he can still be a healthier minded adult than i thought he would be a month ago.

Nap time for the Twins .. YAY!

 

[InsaneCdn]

Just found out one of every parents worse nightmares. I'm learning more and more that my sons issues are NOT his fault.

I'm going to disagree... that isn't the worst nightmare.
The worst nightmare would be to raise this kid, have him turn into a monster, and THEN discover that the base-line issues are NOT his fault.
We didn't get there... (or at least haven't - and right now don't expect to) but there were many long years when that's the only outcome I could see happening.

You're getting help. HE is getting help. Therefore, there is hope.
And THAT is no nightmare!

This site isn't restricted to kids with ODD dxes... its "our challenging and difficult to parent kids"... and yes, that includes dxes like Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD).

 

[Morningglory]

I'm going to disagree... that isn't the worst nightmare.

It actually is. I'm just not allowed to talk about it attorney said it would be a bad idea. maybe one day I can. but I promise you, the worst thing that can happen to your child other than finding out he was dead has happened.
Without being able to be totally honest here, It's hard to get the support I really need. I'm going to stop posting about difficult child age 12 here.

Thanks all for the advise I have gotten.