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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742341" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think everybody has consensus about what serves daughter in the short and medium term. And that is that her mother protect her decisively, one hundred percent. And she is served that her mother walk away from ANY situation where she, the daughter, is compromised or threatened. Since this bad act did happen, and there is no way to mitigate against risk, this seems to be the clear course, to walk away. And now husband has declared he is unwilling to deal with the elephant in the room. And that he refuses to accept anybody in the family that keeps insisting that there is an elephant. The dominos keep dropping. It seems a done deal. Because something did happen. You can't get over that. And husband has declared he will sacrifice your daughter. Not to his son's interests, but to his own.</p><p></p><p>This is a sad and ugly story. There is no place for you. There is no place for your daughter. This has been made clear by how husband is handling this.</p><p></p><p>I guess my sadness is this: I believe in redemption. I believe in change. I believe people grow. I believe stepson if he was to be helped to get treatment, could well have healed some. Part of you believed this, too. No matter your fear, no matter your ambivalence, you were committed to stepson too. You were committed to this family, the nuclear part. You were committed to find a way to make this work so that everybody together would heal.</p><p></p><p>I believe that families can keep together in horrible circumstances, and couples can find their way, too. Even in horrible situations, that seem to be insurmountable, I believe that people can seek strength. And they can find their way back to each other.</p><p></p><p>You have so much responsibility, so much strength to share....I guess the way to see this is as does SWOT. That you will bring these qualities, your commitment, your love to another relationship with a stronger man, and a less toxic family.</p><p></p><p>I am sad for you. Like SWOT says, some relationships are meant to end. Sometimes things happen that are insurmountable.</p><p></p><p>But I want you to know that we will support you no matter what you choose.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742341, member: 18958"] I think everybody has consensus about what serves daughter in the short and medium term. And that is that her mother protect her decisively, one hundred percent. And she is served that her mother walk away from ANY situation where she, the daughter, is compromised or threatened. Since this bad act did happen, and there is no way to mitigate against risk, this seems to be the clear course, to walk away. And now husband has declared he is unwilling to deal with the elephant in the room. And that he refuses to accept anybody in the family that keeps insisting that there is an elephant. The dominos keep dropping. It seems a done deal. Because something did happen. You can't get over that. And husband has declared he will sacrifice your daughter. Not to his son's interests, but to his own. This is a sad and ugly story. There is no place for you. There is no place for your daughter. This has been made clear by how husband is handling this. I guess my sadness is this: I believe in redemption. I believe in change. I believe people grow. I believe stepson if he was to be helped to get treatment, could well have healed some. Part of you believed this, too. No matter your fear, no matter your ambivalence, you were committed to stepson too. You were committed to this family, the nuclear part. You were committed to find a way to make this work so that everybody together would heal. I believe that families can keep together in horrible circumstances, and couples can find their way, too. Even in horrible situations, that seem to be insurmountable, I believe that people can seek strength. And they can find their way back to each other. You have so much responsibility, so much strength to share....I guess the way to see this is as does SWOT. That you will bring these qualities, your commitment, your love to another relationship with a stronger man, and a less toxic family. I am sad for you. Like SWOT says, some relationships are meant to end. Sometimes things happen that are insurmountable. But I want you to know that we will support you no matter what you choose. [/QUOTE]
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