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New Member needs advice adult child choosing to be homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 654774" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Caybre.</p><p></p><p>Sorry I missed your thread. No, you are not the only Mom dealing with a chronically homeless son. My son is 26. I, like you, kept trying to push him into programs, into apartments.</p><p></p><p>I had to face that my son has preferred homelessness. He does not like rules. He does not like responsibilities. He does not like spending money on anything except for treats: marijuana, supplements, his drum, etc. He wants freedom, not responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Thus far, he has been assaulted and robbed, thrown out on the street, to no effect. So far, this has not been enough of a cost, for him to make different choices.</p><p></p><p>I have seen there is nothing I can do, except to limit how much I am hurt by him and his lifestyle.</p><p></p><p>My son, of course, would prefer it if somebody else gave him a free place to stay (for two years plus, that happened, or if I let him stay with us (that happened over and over again) or if I found, paid for, and took responsibility for, a place (I won't.)</p><p></p><p>Since I began setting limits, he seems to be stabilizing a little bit. I refuse to let myself hope. Why? It is out of my hands. He is an adult, choosing to live as he will. I am learning that. It really has nothing to do with me, anymore. I have to take care of myself, and not use as an excuse what he does or does not do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 654774, member: 18958"] Hi Caybre. Sorry I missed your thread. No, you are not the only Mom dealing with a chronically homeless son. My son is 26. I, like you, kept trying to push him into programs, into apartments. I had to face that my son has preferred homelessness. He does not like rules. He does not like responsibilities. He does not like spending money on anything except for treats: marijuana, supplements, his drum, etc. He wants freedom, not responsibility. Thus far, he has been assaulted and robbed, thrown out on the street, to no effect. So far, this has not been enough of a cost, for him to make different choices. I have seen there is nothing I can do, except to limit how much I am hurt by him and his lifestyle. My son, of course, would prefer it if somebody else gave him a free place to stay (for two years plus, that happened, or if I let him stay with us (that happened over and over again) or if I found, paid for, and took responsibility for, a place (I won't.) Since I began setting limits, he seems to be stabilizing a little bit. I refuse to let myself hope. Why? It is out of my hands. He is an adult, choosing to live as he will. I am learning that. It really has nothing to do with me, anymore. I have to take care of myself, and not use as an excuse what he does or does not do. [/QUOTE]
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New Member needs advice adult child choosing to be homeless
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