Glad to see I am not alone. I am 1 of 6 children. My mother was probably Borderline Personality Disorder. She absolutely destroyed us all to some degree. The youngest the most. She had him as her surrogate husband since 1983. He has sat around ever since my father died. She has been dead for 8 years and he has gone through his inheritance. Still talking about "getting a job" and he is almost 64 and had the stupidity to collect SS early. Is not above living in someone's garage and then his car. I got him a rented room, paid for by my mother, in his 40's and STILL no job. Now we are planning to retire to the area of NC that my recently deceased OLDEST brother lived which is gorgeous. Unfortunately, my youngest brother lives there in a rented house he can no longer afford which is where he lived with- my mother . I am horrified that I no longer have the buffer of my OLDEST brother. I wrote a letter to my youngest brother telling him that he CANNOT live with- us nor that we will support him financially. My husband is still working at the age of 67 and really needs a break. I sent my youngest brother information from "hud.gov" about affordable housing and told him to get on food stamps and maybe rent a room which is all he really needs.My sister-in-law had been his go to person since everyone gets to the point of thowing up their hands in frustration. I also told my recently widowed sister-in-law to distance herself from him and tell him to call us in a crisis. I love him and cannot understand why he is oppositionally defiant to all suggestions on how to have a normal life. How do I turn my back on him? He has no substance abuses and never has. He had a love of the horses and betting anytime he had money in his pocket but could never maintain a job or profession. Isn't the gov't supposed to supply a safety net? No one should be homeless. What do I do when I get that crisis call?