New member

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jenwessel, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. jenwessel

    jenwessel New Member

    Hi. I am a new member here and a very frustrated parent. My 16 year old has just been placed in an alternative school. The school had me come in for what I thought was a ccc, only to find out that they were going to suggest to me that I have him quit school. The gave me contact information for two programs that 1 he did not qualify for because he has behavior issues, and the other one because he is on probation. They said he was not working towards a high school diploma and at the rate he was headed he was going to be expelled. So I agreed to put him in the alternative school because I don't want him to quit. After 3 semesters of high school he only has 1 credit. He has 97 class absences this semester. He is constantly being suspended for symptoms of his odd. I have to go in tomorrow for a ccc to review the iep to make sure it is an appropriate document for his new placement. I had to call to set this up myself with the new TOR. I am very happy to have a new TOR because if I have to deal with the old one again I may end up on probation. But seriously, I am to the point now that if this child receives a hs diploma it will truly be a miracle. I just wonder if he has this much trouble with h school, how will he ever survive as an adult? Will he be able to keep a job and get insurance for medications, and will he even take medications, and if he doesn't what will happen? I am just really tired. I work a job on midnights so I can be available during the day for appts with his counselor at school, and the counselor for probation and ccc mtgs, and mtgs with the probation officer, and medication appts, and I just want a real job during the day time that I can use my college degree! Will it ever end? Does anyone on here have any success stories for a child that has odd, adhd, and depression?
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    No success story to share, lol, but I have had a teen who was
    very unhappy and quite unsuccessful end up as a B student who
    functions fairly close to normal. That's as close as I can get!

    I have lots of questions:
    Has he always been off target or is this a teen behavior?
    Has there been any big change in his life at home or elsewhere?
    Has he taken medications in the past? Did they help?
    Has he had a neuro/psychiatric evaluation to identify the exact issues?
    How does he relate to his family? Friends, if any?

    What does HE THINK about his current status?

    I'm glad you found us and hope that somebody will be able to lend the ear and offer the guidance you hope for. DDD
  3. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I just wanted to say hi and welcome. I don't have a success story either, but I do have a 16 year old who has had his share of problems. He may be on the right road now, but only time will tell. Just curious...what kind of consequences are in place at home when he misses school or gets suspended? I was also wondering about the same things as DDD, so I'll wait until you have a chance to answer those before I ask any more.

    You'll find TONS of support here...just knowing that there are others that can empathize is so helpful.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome. I think DDD raises some great questions. I am curious as to the answers.

    Sorry, I don't have a success story to share - my difficult child is tons better than he was when I stumbled upon this site over four years ago, but he's still a "youngin" compared to your difficult child. Time will tell....... (puberty still has to be dealt with!).

    Again, welcome. You have a found a place of great support and comfort.

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi Jen. welcome to the board.

    My story is not exactly what you are looking for, but I hope that it gives YOU hope. My older daughter was being treated for bipolar during highschool. She was a cutter, a runner, had a 504 in place, finally an IEP, we did not think there was any way that she would pass. The 504 plan is what saved her fanny. She turned in an assignment a year late and it counted (you read that right). She was in & out of the hospital, just all kinds of trouble.

    Turned 18, moved out of the house. Did she aspire to what we had hoped? No. not even close. No college. No furthering her education at all. But. She works full time. She is living with her b/f (we don't like him, but not our problem) and is current on rent. She pays her insurance.

    She takes no medication.

    I can't explain it. I won't try. I'm just the messenger.

    Anything is possible. So glad you found us, but sorry that you had to.
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I have no advice or sage wisdom - just wanted to say welcome and don't let the letters DIPLOMA vs GED get you down. (I'm trying not to as we speak)

    I think once I lowered my expectations of what I hoped for difficult child vs. what I felt he could do if he applied himself, I was mentally better off. My son 17, currently living in group home, on 3 yr. proabtion with- comm. service, restitution, and skimming the edges of right and wrong. He was a straight A student with 1 carnegy unit going into 11th grade. The school system said "Naaaah not those behaviors this year: and suggested alternative school. This past summer he got arrested, jailed and now is as you see above.

    It is also a condition of his probation that he get a job - he's had one and quit. I'm not bailing him out - if he fails this time he is looking at 6 years in adult jail and won't get out till he is 23. You hope somewhere along the line SOME lesson sticks - but I'm not holding my breath any more.

    You've found a great place to land - hugs
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Okay---It all depends on what you classify as success. Like star stated, it took lowering my expectations before difficult child could even begin to succeed. My difficult child, after years of not doing what he should, is now beginning to do what he can or will. He is working part-time, going to college part-time, living at home and trying to become independent---hey, he got himself to the ER today (after 5 calls to me at work). It's baby steps with these kids. He is 19---It took him a year longer to graduate from hs and that was done through an adult ed program with me hounding him and the program. I was determined he would get that diploma if it killed us both. But, I would have been satisfied with a GED if that's what he needed to do--- he at Harvard studying biomechanical engineering, no.
    But...he is functioning better than he was. He is not in prison. He is not in rehab. He is still alive.
    A year ago, I would have thought that I would be saying the opposite.