New therapist

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dstc_99, Feb 12, 2013.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Well not really...which turned out to be a good thing.

    Months ago when difficult child started her drama with choking I made it mandatory that she see a therapist. easy child also started going as well. They both saw Steve and immediately hit it off. I chose to go to a different therapist in another facility becase difficult child was so paranoid about me seeing Steve and him giving me information about their sessions. I liked the lady I saw but we never really got in a good pattern and recently I decided it would just be easier for me and easy child to see Steve since we could do back to back appointments. Steve also agreed when difficult child left that he would see us as a family and difficult child agreed to attend the meetings.

    The first meeting included my parents, difficult child, easy child, and me since husband couldnt attend. It didn't go so well since my mom kept causing alot of drama and difficult child was unwilling to bend. We were told to write letters to each other in between appointments. I agreed to see Steve in between appts but had to cancel due to losing track of time. We had our second family meeting today and lets just say it was a doozy. Thank goodness Steve asked to see difficult child, husband, and me and excluded my mom and dad and easy child.

    difficult child immediately started out by cutting off Steve to complain about the last meeting when afterwards I gave my parents and difficult child 2 options for how we could help support them financially. She said I wasn't showing a spirit of compromise like Steve suggested. Steve mentioned that I wasn't obligated to support at all since guardianship was with my parents and that giving her two options was showing compromise and allowing her to chose. difficult child then proceeded to remain ****** because we aren't giving her enough money. She has had to get new clothes because of her new schools guidelines and new books and she has more needs. I mentioned that we had never been asked for help or told about this. Plus we just got home from buying her a $500 prom dress and none of this was brought up. Apparently she has been going to my brother and aunt to get financial support for her new clothes which I am going to put to a stop. I just got a chance to check the dress code and she is full of it. The dress code is no different than it was at her old school.

    She then proceeds to be ****** because she has to come up for the meetings and stay in a crappy hotel room after driving 2 hours. We never told her she couldn't stay at our house and she never asked. My parents have been coming with her and they have never asked either. All in all nothing was accomplished during the family meeting.

    On the other hand my meeting with Steve went well. He downright said difficult child acts like a total brat and is ungrateful for all the things we give her. For the first time I have a therapist who has met my family and actually understands what I am talking about. He doesn't just hear it from me and think I am exagerating he hears it from the source and knows that I am probably making it sound better than it actually is. He even told me that he feels embarassed for me as a parent because of the way she acts. I couldn't believe it!! Someone actually doesn't think I am a horrible mother.

    The sad part is that he doesn't see any point in further family counseling unless difficult child makes major changes. I told him I would contact her and allow her to schedule the next appointment. That way it is in her hands. If she doesn't do it then it is on her.