New thread on punishment by the school

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dstc_99, Dec 31, 2012.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Since we got a little off track over the weekend I thought I would start fresh. LOL Glad to see you ladies are so pationate.

    In this case we are ruled by KHSAA (Ky High School Athletic Association) and over the weekend I read up on their rules and our school rules. With the school rules they simply reference the KHSAA rules as far as eligibility there is no real guideline for punishments or discipline probably because each team is so different.

    With the KHSAA rules the first thing I noticed is that as parents/participants we were given the permision forms but we were never given the full document. IE: the part that explains the rules was never given to us. Of course down in the bottom of the permission form it says that you agree to the rules.

    The second thing I noticed is that that their guidance on eligibility is very vague. All it says is the following:
    Sec. 3) Conduct - Student or Other Representative Under Penalty
    Any student, contest offi cial or other offi cial school representative
    who is under penalty or discipline or whose conduct is such as to
    reflect discredit upon the school or the KHSAA is not eligible.

    The final thing I noticed is a ruling on Guardianship/Change of Custody. I know that has nothing to do with my daughters situation but I believe it shows a pattern that the school has not been enforcing the guidelines for years. We have had multiple members of our team who did not live in our county but they have provided family members addresses in order to attend the schools. The Principal is well aware of these cases and has after a small amount of research declared that because these girls often stay at the addresses listed on their enrollment forms they are eligible to participate. On the other hand KHSAA states:
    recognize guardianship or similar arrangements made, for
    purposes of this bylaw. The Commissioner shall have authority
    to waive the provisions of this bylaw where it is shown that
    custody of the student has been taken from one or both parents
    and given to a third person by a court of competent jurisdiction
    and under circumstances indicating: (1) the parent(s) is/are unfi t
    or (2) the court fi nds that the health and welfare of the student
    would be better served by the change in custody.

    Basically unless these parents gave the other person custody of their child then their child is not eligible.

    My main issue with the pregnant cheerleaders is less that she was prego and more that due to her pregnancy she was basically unable to perform cheers. She was restricted from doing three of the four things they compete with yet she was never benched. Also she was restricted from practice and all activities for 3 weeks prior to competition but showed up with a Dr's note the day we got on the bus allowing her to dance only and the coaches changed the routine again for her to be allowed to compete. Needless to say after multiple changes on her behalf the team came in last place. If she had been on the basketball team and been unable to dribble it would never have been considered that she be competing but because it is cheer and no one cares about cheer she was allowed to. Top that off with the fact she bullied the team the entire season and ran off atleast two other athletes (while the coaches watched and did nothing) it was a really difficult season. Our girls would show up to cheer and get jeered at and called $luts and *****$ by their own student section. When I approached the principal and athletic director and provided them proof of these issues they did nothing. Pregnancy is legal but bullying is not and the team should have been given as much protection as the pregnant cheerleader was.

    As for multiple people wanting the slot on the team that isn’t an issue we have the largest school in a several district area yet we have the smallest cheer team and the most number of people who quit the team. Of course having coaches who dont care doesn’t help. Trust me there is no one waiting in the wings and the scholarship is so piddly $100 per year they participate that there is no competition for it. Also there are no competitive cheer teams or gyms within a 50 mile radius and that is with a commute through a large city. Even if they wanted to it is now competition season and the teams do not allow new participants at this point. That is partially the reason we suck every year is because we dont have students feeding in to us with skills.

    As far as knowing the punishments for the other players during the year I am working on that. Thankfully they are dumb enough to post things on Twitter and Facebook like “Sitting in court wish this dumb :censored2: judge would hurry up.” Just gotta get the names together and see what they prinicipal actually does. Since they are juvenils I am having to work the teenagers to get the information but I am friends with a lawyer who works with the cases quite frequently. While she is restricted from telling me who she is not restricted from telling me that it has occured.
  2. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Ups, I'm sorry for getting your thread off topic :sorry:

    Still, I haven't changed my opinion in this topic. If this sport is positive influence to your daughter, I would try to see, if it's possible it would not be taken away from her. And it certainly seems that the case is not at all clear cut and simple. Your daughter did a wrong thing but it I think that you and law-enforcement is there to give her consequences, not school. Especially if the school is not even consistent with their treatment of kids. That is very likely only cause resentment in your kid, if she considers she is more harshly treated than other athletes in her school.

    Kids do wrong things at times and should have consequences, but I'm not in favour of letting about anyone to do about anything to my child because 'he brought it to himself.' As a parent it is my job to decide what is appropriate. I of course let other people handle some of it; school, coaches etc. when it is related to them. But I don't let even them to do whatever they want to my children but do stand up for them if they are unfairly treated. It is a fine line and you have to decide case by case. But if your daughter would be mine, I wouldn't silently approve kicking her out of her sport over this, not in these circumstances. (However I would approve a ban from competing for certain time or something like that.) Sometimes it is important for kids to also know their parents do back them up, even if you can't change a verdict.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Good Grief! It you school teams are run in such a loosey goosey are absolutely correct. I assumed that the rules were in writing, understood and universally followed. Naive me! Fingers crossed it goes well and that your daughter and her peers are learning a positive life lesson. DDD
  4. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    No problem SuZir!

    Yeah hopefully they will learn something from this. I think I am so defensive about it because I don't feel the coaches or the principal will do anything to support the girls. They never have before so I don't see it happening now. Some of these girls are good kids who made a single mistake. Some of these girls are difficult child's in their own rights and they do this kind of thing all the time. Either way the girls need someone to be on their side and support them.
  5. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    KY...well that explains it. lol.

    I agree that one mistake should not result in being kicked off the team. Is your school board open to parent input? or your principal? Maybe take some of the more detailed discipline plans from other districts and share them, and ask them to create a 'step program'.

    Or maybe they'd agree to suspend the punishment if she attends an alcohol awareness class??