Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
New Thread...Same Story
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 680114" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>I agree with this.</p><p></p><p>I too worried that it would hurt son worse if I kicked him out. But a not so peculiar thing happened. He had to survive on his own. He got loans for college, took business classes, and quickly started his own business. He did very well with this. </p><p></p><p>HOWEVER, he also has mental illness (schizoprenia, Bipolar, psychomotor agitation). On top of it, the meth did a number on his brain. YES, they struggle, but they do make it in most cases. With Son, there's been quite a few setbacks, but with each set back (relapse) he comes back a little bit more humbled and little bit smarter. </p><p></p><p>We all have to set our own limits. Only do what we ourselves can handle, but at a certain point the enabling only makes them worse.</p><p></p><p>With my Son, I let him "break" me financially. Now I am rebuilding myself. </p><p></p><p>Another peculiar thing happened. He now tells me in his own way not to enable him, that it does him no good. For instance, he just told me to stop putting $ on his account so he can call us. He knows he abuses this privilege in the way of giving his girlfriend a hard time. </p><p></p><p>He's also told me, thank you quite often for putting his butt out of the house. It was the best thing that happened to him, because he learned how to handle himself and grow as a man (although he is in back slide, relapse mode now and spending time in jail because of meth).</p><p></p><p>You can't stop him from hurting himself with drugs. But, you can put him out and he will have no choice but to sink or swim. One thing I did do was advise him to go to college, get loans, and handle his own business.</p><p></p><p>I'm still struggling with enabling him on small things, like phone money, commissary, etc. But now that he told me to stop. I will. </p><p></p><p>I should note too that he had been kicked out before the college and him figuring a few things out, and he couch surfed, lived with other family and that, but he wore his welcomes out everywhere he went. It wasn't until he reached a certain rock bottom that he started figuring things out. I still have hope even with him in jail right now. BUt, he has to find his own way now. He has a better chance at finding his own way without me enabling him.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. IT's a struggle most of us understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 680114, member: 20063"] I agree with this. I too worried that it would hurt son worse if I kicked him out. But a not so peculiar thing happened. He had to survive on his own. He got loans for college, took business classes, and quickly started his own business. He did very well with this. HOWEVER, he also has mental illness (schizoprenia, Bipolar, psychomotor agitation). On top of it, the meth did a number on his brain. YES, they struggle, but they do make it in most cases. With Son, there's been quite a few setbacks, but with each set back (relapse) he comes back a little bit more humbled and little bit smarter. We all have to set our own limits. Only do what we ourselves can handle, but at a certain point the enabling only makes them worse. With my Son, I let him "break" me financially. Now I am rebuilding myself. Another peculiar thing happened. He now tells me in his own way not to enable him, that it does him no good. For instance, he just told me to stop putting $ on his account so he can call us. He knows he abuses this privilege in the way of giving his girlfriend a hard time. He's also told me, thank you quite often for putting his butt out of the house. It was the best thing that happened to him, because he learned how to handle himself and grow as a man (although he is in back slide, relapse mode now and spending time in jail because of meth). You can't stop him from hurting himself with drugs. But, you can put him out and he will have no choice but to sink or swim. One thing I did do was advise him to go to college, get loans, and handle his own business. I'm still struggling with enabling him on small things, like phone money, commissary, etc. But now that he told me to stop. I will. I should note too that he had been kicked out before the college and him figuring a few things out, and he couch surfed, lived with other family and that, but he wore his welcomes out everywhere he went. It wasn't until he reached a certain rock bottom that he started figuring things out. I still have hope even with him in jail right now. BUt, he has to find his own way now. He has a better chance at finding his own way without me enabling him. Hugs to you. IT's a struggle most of us understand. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
New Thread...Same Story
Top