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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New to board, so many issues--need clarity
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 633871" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Welcome, Origami. That is quite a story. You've gotten some good advice already. I would say it will be hard for you to stand up for yourself until you get some professional support...I can read between the lines that you don't seem to think you have any right to end this untenable situation...but the thing is...you do!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Get help to get to this. Go to Nar-Anon or another 12 step, see a therapist yourself or with husband. You are being walked all over and I'm not sure you even see it. A man and woman with a family should figure out how to take care of that family. As long as you are the answer to the problem...you will be the answer to the problem! Why would they do anything else? You are the easiest answer.</p><p></p><p>Being a grown up and a parent is hard. It is fine for you to be a (very) temporary bridge, but you cannot shoulder the whole burden, and in the long run you do them no favors to let them think that it is you who will fix things, not them. Who will fix things for them when you are gone? They have to figure out how to fix things themselves.</p><p></p><p>Fist fights, pot, lying to you (about the job) are all...totally...unacceptable.</p><p></p><p>Good luck to you. Keep posting. We understand how you got here, and how hard it is to see straight.</p><p></p><p>Echolette</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 633871, member: 17269"] Welcome, Origami. That is quite a story. You've gotten some good advice already. I would say it will be hard for you to stand up for yourself until you get some professional support...I can read between the lines that you don't seem to think you have any right to end this untenable situation...but the thing is...you do! Get help to get to this. Go to Nar-Anon or another 12 step, see a therapist yourself or with husband. You are being walked all over and I'm not sure you even see it. A man and woman with a family should figure out how to take care of that family. As long as you are the answer to the problem...you will be the answer to the problem! Why would they do anything else? You are the easiest answer. Being a grown up and a parent is hard. It is fine for you to be a (very) temporary bridge, but you cannot shoulder the whole burden, and in the long run you do them no favors to let them think that it is you who will fix things, not them. Who will fix things for them when you are gone? They have to figure out how to fix things themselves. Fist fights, pot, lying to you (about the job) are all...totally...unacceptable. Good luck to you. Keep posting. We understand how you got here, and how hard it is to see straight. Echolette [/QUOTE]
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New to board, so many issues--need clarity
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