Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New to board, so many issues--need clarity
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 633989" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Origami,</p><p></p><p>You give a well rounded description of your situation, which is, like so many, neither black nor white. </p><p></p><p>There is of course an in between place, where you lay down some ground rules and a time frame and help them out for a while. Here is the key, though..the rules are your rules, there is no negotiating around them, and if they don't stick to them...well..they have to leave. There are rules everywhere. There are rules if you live in jail, if you live in an apartment, if you live in a half way house, a shelter, wherever. You should have rules too. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I totally get that they are pretty nice, and also that you love them and the kids. IT is the last sentence that worries me because, I gotta tell you, people's behavior doesn't generally get BETTER unpromted, it generally devolves to the lowest tolerated level. This is even true to some extent to non-difficult children. In your case you are witnessing it right now. So please, I'm begging you, DONT LET IT RIDE.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Honey, this isn't petty. This is a breach of boundaries, and your husband is enabling. It is totally not OK to just take some one else's computer and use it. It is totally not ok to install or download things on some one else's computer, or to usurp any time on it. It is childish to think otherwise (I get that the 5 year old might have that kind of magical thinking, but it is intolerable in a 30 year old. Please!)</p><p></p><p>And paying for the screen that was broken in a difficult child melee? I say again...Please.</p><p></p><p>So...I suggest that you sit down and think how you would like to see things. All toys picked up before 10 pm each night (preferably with children participating). Put them in the bin HERE. You guys do the dishes every night, and make dinner (xxx) times each week for all of us. You contribute xxxx to household expenses each week (I don't care if it is $25, just something). No Pot. Ever. Pot or any drugs is cause for IMMEDIATE eviction, zero tolerance. No hanging out on the community back porch after xxxxx hour (it isn't ok for them to annoy your neighbors).</p><p></p><p>And difficult child 27 fighting with difficult child 17? Cut it out. He is a grown up. difficult child 17 lives there, and is surely inconvenienced by this whole fiasco. Fights between them are difficult child 27's fault...period. He can leave the room or deescalate, but as I see it he owes difficult child 17 a new gaming system...and no one owes 27 a new screen.</p><p></p><p>Feeling tough today!</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 633989, member: 17269"] Origami, You give a well rounded description of your situation, which is, like so many, neither black nor white. There is of course an in between place, where you lay down some ground rules and a time frame and help them out for a while. Here is the key, though..the rules are your rules, there is no negotiating around them, and if they don't stick to them...well..they have to leave. There are rules everywhere. There are rules if you live in jail, if you live in an apartment, if you live in a half way house, a shelter, wherever. You should have rules too. I totally get that they are pretty nice, and also that you love them and the kids. IT is the last sentence that worries me because, I gotta tell you, people's behavior doesn't generally get BETTER unpromted, it generally devolves to the lowest tolerated level. This is even true to some extent to non-difficult children. In your case you are witnessing it right now. So please, I'm begging you, DONT LET IT RIDE. Honey, this isn't petty. This is a breach of boundaries, and your husband is enabling. It is totally not OK to just take some one else's computer and use it. It is totally not ok to install or download things on some one else's computer, or to usurp any time on it. It is childish to think otherwise (I get that the 5 year old might have that kind of magical thinking, but it is intolerable in a 30 year old. Please!) And paying for the screen that was broken in a difficult child melee? I say again...Please. So...I suggest that you sit down and think how you would like to see things. All toys picked up before 10 pm each night (preferably with children participating). Put them in the bin HERE. You guys do the dishes every night, and make dinner (xxx) times each week for all of us. You contribute xxxx to household expenses each week (I don't care if it is $25, just something). No Pot. Ever. Pot or any drugs is cause for IMMEDIATE eviction, zero tolerance. No hanging out on the community back porch after xxxxx hour (it isn't ok for them to annoy your neighbors). And difficult child 27 fighting with difficult child 17? Cut it out. He is a grown up. difficult child 17 lives there, and is surely inconvenienced by this whole fiasco. Fights between them are difficult child 27's fault...period. He can leave the room or deescalate, but as I see it he owes difficult child 17 a new gaming system...and no one owes 27 a new screen. Feeling tough today! Echo [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
New to board, so many issues--need clarity
Top