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New to forum - 2 addicted adult kids
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<blockquote data-quote="2 times the heartache" data-source="post: 712183" data-attributes="member: 21750"><p>Thanks to everyone who posted here. This is my first time back this week and it's been a rough one. I told a couple of people how much this site and reading your posts had helped me. I even told their father about it as he said his Dr. suggested he obtain counseling. Anyway....I ran a few times this week to get clothes and bring food. I say I had a rough week because of that as each time I left them on the street, I cried and prayed all the way home and was despondent. I should have come back and read some more as the first time was so comforting to me. Well....I am sure glad that I came back as the support here is phenomenal for me. The thought that my words could be useful to someone else [USER=18958]@Copabanana[/USER] was extremely comforting. It's 2 a.m. and I think I can go to sleep now. I have been questioning and praying about whether there is something else I should be doing. I have been searching the internet for rooms for rent that I may help them, spending a lot of time on them....still. In my heart, I know that is enabling. I said I was going to take care of myself and.....I haven't been doing a good job so far but.....it's actually an improvement over what I WAS doing so...baby steps. Thanks [USER=1550]@SomewhereOutThere[/USER] for the reaffirmation that they are adults...adults who have been very negligent and irresponsible in their own parenting . I realized that I WAS and still AM a good parent. They were truly blessed as children and received more nurturing than they have shown their own children...not to mention support and stability. Again....thank you all for your support and your wisdom. I think that I may just take a vacation [USER=1550]@SomewhereOutThere[/USER] . I actually lied to my son and told him that I was planning a trip. I felt guilty but I was telling him that as I planned to tell my husband to tell him I was on a vacation when he called. </p><p></p><p>I guess I could use some Advice about that. I tell them to let me know how they are doing but when they do, It brings me down. I don't think I would want them in the street and not hearing from them at all. Does that get better with time, do they stop calling as much when you stop doing ANYTHING for them? Is it better to not know where they are? I haven't had to deal with that yet. I believe I have been pretty strong in that I haven't let them come back and I don't give them money (except $2-$3 for bus and phone). I also told my son today that there was nothing else I could do for him and suggested a rehab that he had previously gone to (non profit). His old sponsor had suggested that he go there for a month. I told him that he, like me always wanted to think that this might be the time but that he had to do something to prove it this time. I struggle with the idea that he is walking the street alone, killing time at the library, going to a center to eat, etc. and basically has NOTHING. He says that he is applying for jobs but...how can he work being homeless? He said he hadn't used in a week but I suggested that it's more because he has no money than he wants to quit. </p><p></p><p>Again...THANK YOU so much for the support and wisdom. I will be visiting regularly from now on!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2 times the heartache, post: 712183, member: 21750"] Thanks to everyone who posted here. This is my first time back this week and it's been a rough one. I told a couple of people how much this site and reading your posts had helped me. I even told their father about it as he said his Dr. suggested he obtain counseling. Anyway....I ran a few times this week to get clothes and bring food. I say I had a rough week because of that as each time I left them on the street, I cried and prayed all the way home and was despondent. I should have come back and read some more as the first time was so comforting to me. Well....I am sure glad that I came back as the support here is phenomenal for me. The thought that my words could be useful to someone else [USER=18958]@Copabanana[/USER] was extremely comforting. It's 2 a.m. and I think I can go to sleep now. I have been questioning and praying about whether there is something else I should be doing. I have been searching the internet for rooms for rent that I may help them, spending a lot of time on them....still. In my heart, I know that is enabling. I said I was going to take care of myself and.....I haven't been doing a good job so far but.....it's actually an improvement over what I WAS doing so...baby steps. Thanks [USER=1550]@SomewhereOutThere[/USER] for the reaffirmation that they are adults...adults who have been very negligent and irresponsible in their own parenting . I realized that I WAS and still AM a good parent. They were truly blessed as children and received more nurturing than they have shown their own children...not to mention support and stability. Again....thank you all for your support and your wisdom. I think that I may just take a vacation [USER=1550]@SomewhereOutThere[/USER] . I actually lied to my son and told him that I was planning a trip. I felt guilty but I was telling him that as I planned to tell my husband to tell him I was on a vacation when he called. I guess I could use some Advice about that. I tell them to let me know how they are doing but when they do, It brings me down. I don't think I would want them in the street and not hearing from them at all. Does that get better with time, do they stop calling as much when you stop doing ANYTHING for them? Is it better to not know where they are? I haven't had to deal with that yet. I believe I have been pretty strong in that I haven't let them come back and I don't give them money (except $2-$3 for bus and phone). I also told my son today that there was nothing else I could do for him and suggested a rehab that he had previously gone to (non profit). His old sponsor had suggested that he go there for a month. I told him that he, like me always wanted to think that this might be the time but that he had to do something to prove it this time. I struggle with the idea that he is walking the street alone, killing time at the library, going to a center to eat, etc. and basically has NOTHING. He says that he is applying for jobs but...how can he work being homeless? He said he hadn't used in a week but I suggested that it's more because he has no money than he wants to quit. Again...THANK YOU so much for the support and wisdom. I will be visiting regularly from now on! [/QUOTE]
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