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New to Forum: Daughter Seems "Done" with Me
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 666868" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is sadly common today and often we dont know what we did. Very often this coincides with a significant other who doesnt like you and often the reasons why are vague. This happened to me. I had a lovely son I adopted from abroad at age six. Literally he was wonderful until he met his wife. She wanted him all to herself is what most of us think and we could be right or wrong, but why doesnt matter. We were never told. He cut us all off then, after three silent year allowed my ex only back in his life, but on his strict terms</p><p></p><p>Nothing worked to find out why or to try to re establish contact. An adoption psycologist told us that older adoptees often just cant bond correctly due to being in orphanages and unloved in the formative years. So we quit trying. It just was treated as a joke by he and wife, which hurt. We dont know his two kids. This is what I did. It may not be right for you, but it worked for me so I offer my experience</p><p></p><p>After therapy about this for two years I realized I cant control son or wife. I decided to spend my time on my loved ones who loved me back and not beg for nuggets from those who are unlovimg.</p><p></p><p>Besides starting to love myself, I focused on my husband and four children who do love me, that I can love back.</p><p></p><p>It worked. Eight or nine years later my life is peaceful and good and I have two other grandchildren. I care about me too much to grovel for attention. No matter who it is. I can not help that I could not adopt son at a younger age so he could bond better. I can not help his wifes attitude.</p><p></p><p>I wish you good luck and offer hugs for your hurting heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 666868, member: 1550"] This is sadly common today and often we dont know what we did. Very often this coincides with a significant other who doesnt like you and often the reasons why are vague. This happened to me. I had a lovely son I adopted from abroad at age six. Literally he was wonderful until he met his wife. She wanted him all to herself is what most of us think and we could be right or wrong, but why doesnt matter. We were never told. He cut us all off then, after three silent year allowed my ex only back in his life, but on his strict terms Nothing worked to find out why or to try to re establish contact. An adoption psycologist told us that older adoptees often just cant bond correctly due to being in orphanages and unloved in the formative years. So we quit trying. It just was treated as a joke by he and wife, which hurt. We dont know his two kids. This is what I did. It may not be right for you, but it worked for me so I offer my experience After therapy about this for two years I realized I cant control son or wife. I decided to spend my time on my loved ones who loved me back and not beg for nuggets from those who are unlovimg. Besides starting to love myself, I focused on my husband and four children who do love me, that I can love back. It worked. Eight or nine years later my life is peaceful and good and I have two other grandchildren. I care about me too much to grovel for attention. No matter who it is. I can not help that I could not adopt son at a younger age so he could bond better. I can not help his wifes attitude. I wish you good luck and offer hugs for your hurting heart. [/QUOTE]
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