New to Forum--Son (9) ADHD/ODD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tamms44, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. Tamms44

    Tamms44 New Member

    :confused:Good Morning readers--
    I am new to the forum and the reason I am here is to find answers to my questions. I am at a lost as to what to do with my son. Diagnosed at age 3 with ADHD (severe) then later on with ODD with a possible lean towards bipolar; which is something I have been told could be a possibility later on in his life. What I can't understand is that my son does things on purpose and I think he does them to see the reaction.

    He is very defiant to authority figures, yet knows right from wrong. Authority figures: teachers. He hates school. But he is so bright. How do you teach a child the beauty of intelligence and how it will impact his future? How do you teach a child the outcome of his own difiance. And finally, how do you teach a child control?

    At a complete lost as to what to do. I have been dealing with doctors and therapists for 9 years and I am done.

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there, Tammy. Have a few questions so we can help ya better.

    1/Are there any mood disorders or substance abuse on either side of the family tree? Bipolar by the way can start in very young kids. Some older thinking psychiatrists just won't diagnose it and put the kids on ADHD medications, that often don't work (because they don't work for mood disordered kids). Which leads to, is your child on medications and do they help with behavior?

    2/How was his early development. Any speech problems, poor eye contact, sensory issues, inability to connect well with peers, any strange obsessions, arm flapping, toy lining up?

    3/How does he do in school?

    4/Has he ever had a neuropsychologist evaluation (if not I STRONGLY recommend one--they will give him actual testing for up to ten hours and often catch stuff nobody else does).

    You may want to do a signature like I did below.

    Welcome to the board :)
  3. tryinghard

    tryinghard New Member


    Welcome. This is a great board with many wise parents who will answer you today with lots better advise than I can give you.

    My son is also diagnosis'd as ADHD and I believe ODD. He is 12 and things have gotten better each year.

    For my son we continue DAILY to talk about him, how he feels, technques he can use to control his anger, how important school is, how important peoples feeling are. It does seem to sink in....BUT the frustration is my son must hear it 1000 time before 1% sinks in.

    You are not alone. You will see MANY of us face what you do on a daily basis. This board, and its members, have brought me a lot of comfort and good advice over the last few months.

    Post and read and you will learn a lot...especially t hat you are not alone.

    My son also likes to upset me and see my reaction. I do not know why he does it. The sad part when asked he doesn't either and he feels bad about it.

    I just ordered the book, Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. MANY on this board say it helped them understanding and parent their challenging children.

  4. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Adding my hi ! :bigsmile: Midwestmom has asked the questions, so not much to add.

    My difficult child also hates school, but now goes because he's realized he HAS to by law, and I can't legally let him off. But instilling any understanding of how this education he gets is a beautiful thing for his future, I don't know. I don't think most teens understand that until it's too late and they're out of high school.

    As tryinghard said, with our kids and teaching them things like this, and control, understanding results of defiance - it's repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat until they do. It seems to take them longer to "get it" while a easy child might need one repeat, a difficult child needs that 1,000.

    Welcome to the site, hope you find the advice and support you need to keep on.