jnhcmommy6
New Member
I have a 16 year old daughter, I live in Kansas. She is living with me as a last resort when her father and grandmother gave up on her in Maryland. She has been diagnosed with general depression, anxiety disorder, cut herself before and attempted and threatened suicide before and since she's been here. I was unsure to believe she was as bad as all they said back home and figured she needed her mother, since we haven't lived together since she was 9. I gave her my love and attention in the past 8 months that she has been her and talked to her and created rules and gave her some freedoms. When she found a boyfriend in the town we were renting in, we were three weeks away from signing on a house 28 miles away, after having changed high schools in her senior year 3 times already she went of when I said for her senior year I was NOT driving her down to that one she was in and that I would not drive her down to see her boyfriend all the time, though at the time he was welcomed to come visit up here. My husband, her step-father, says I've been too soft on her and it's created problems in our relationship but now, we just moved into our house on July 1st and he as a soldier, had to leave for training for a month in a different state. She escalated in her weedling to see her friends and I gave permission for her to have a friend stay the night here in the new house for two nights, followed two days later by her saying she wanted to go stay at her friends house down there. I said no, I am also living with my two youngest children here in the home that are 6 and 4 and I don't have the desire to go get you down there when you have no ride back home or if there is aproblem, I can't just jump to get to you. So, she went to work and left an hour into her shift, claiming sickness and told me she was going anyway and what would I do about it? Anyway, so in just the past two weeks she has defied me three times, I've called the police on her twice trying to find out my recourse to deal with it and yesterday she went to the mall, explicity telling me that she was NOT going to go anywhere else and I find out that she went down there yet again. I told her to be home at 6pm, she asked me to pick her up back at the mall (2.5 miles away) because her ride didn't have enough gas to get from there to my house. I said you have to either find a $1 and wait for the bus or use those legs and get home. I am cooking dinner, I have a routine for my litte boys and I can't drop it to come get you. So, she says fine. Next time I hear from her, she has managed to get from up here 2.5 miles back down to this town...because of course, she couldn't say they should drive her home, but she would just do whatever she wanted. At 7:30 nearly 8pm, I called the police to see if I could classify her as a runaway. Well, she called while the officer was here and I was told that nothing can be done as a runaway because she is only communicating that she is defying me, and I know what town she is in, not where or who she is with! Now, it's going on 1pm today and I have heard nothing from her, and no, I'm not calling her. At 7:30 pm she will have been gone for 24 hours. I will call then again to the police. Okay, that is the briefest of backstory, but my question is to anyone, what legal things can I do, because I don't want her back her unless she follows the rules. Oh, and another thing, she talks like she can get emancipated like so easily but has no idea that they won't grant it to her. She then called in again and said she had a proposal for me, that I didn't really want her anyway since her dad and her gran have given up on her, I want to as well...Whatever. she said I could sign something stating I am done with her and she can live somewhere. I said no, I want you here but to follow my rules. She said no, I hung up. That was the last communication.
I want to know what I can do because honestly, I know if she is brought back by the police, if they do anything, or she comes tonight to try to get clothes or even to stay, it's only going to be a matter of time before she TELLS me she is going again. My boys don't need to see this defiance, this screaming between her and I. They already act out. Their father is gone for a month and then coming back for three weeks before a 9 month deployment. I have to think of their structure and their routines. I called a lawyer today for a phone consultation but they said it may not be till Monday that they get back with me. Any thoughts, ideas and such for me? I'm ready to sign her over to the state almost, but have no idea what steps to take at all. I have no support system here at all. Just working from home, no adult friends and my husband is not even able to use his phone in training. I'm at my wit's end.
I want to know what I can do because honestly, I know if she is brought back by the police, if they do anything, or she comes tonight to try to get clothes or even to stay, it's only going to be a matter of time before she TELLS me she is going again. My boys don't need to see this defiance, this screaming between her and I. They already act out. Their father is gone for a month and then coming back for three weeks before a 9 month deployment. I have to think of their structure and their routines. I called a lawyer today for a phone consultation but they said it may not be till Monday that they get back with me. Any thoughts, ideas and such for me? I'm ready to sign her over to the state almost, but have no idea what steps to take at all. I have no support system here at all. Just working from home, no adult friends and my husband is not even able to use his phone in training. I'm at my wit's end.