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New to group...blended family, so much stress
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 53022" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Since Mom's rights were just terminated, the odds are this is causing extra acting out. No matter how much they love their dad or care for you, the confusion and pain they are feeling is something they cannot control and, thus, more acting out.</p><p></p><p>My question is what are they stealing? Is it impulse or deliberate? That is, they see it, they take it or do they plan it out? If impulsive, I think I would just take back what they stole and leave it at that for now. </p><p></p><p>My daughter was a pro at stealing. It was rarely thought through. If she it, wanted it, had a chance, she took it. If anything had pockets, I sewed them shut. Her backpack was see through. Same with her purses. I actually had to do pat downs before we left stores. I also found that there was no punishment that worked. What seemed to work was just stopping the opportunity as much as possible and not letting her keep what she took. She did have to apologize to whomever she stole from, including me. Verbally to strangers, in writing to those she knew. If taken from a store, she had to pay the price of the item from her allowance as well as lose the item back to the store or to Goodwill if they refused to take it.</p><p></p><p>As to the lying, that one is something I never succeeded in really curbing. The best I could do was simply not give her a chance to lie. To this day, I simply tell her I don't want to hear an excuse, just a simple yes or no to whatever is being asked. If I think she is starting to lie, I stop her as soon as I can and simply tell her the story doesn't matter, just make whatever is wrong right. Of course, I had the advantage of only one child. She couldn't blame someone else in the house.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully, you'll find the right mix of medications and a good fit in a therapist soon. It can help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 53022, member: 3626"] Since Mom's rights were just terminated, the odds are this is causing extra acting out. No matter how much they love their dad or care for you, the confusion and pain they are feeling is something they cannot control and, thus, more acting out. My question is what are they stealing? Is it impulse or deliberate? That is, they see it, they take it or do they plan it out? If impulsive, I think I would just take back what they stole and leave it at that for now. My daughter was a pro at stealing. It was rarely thought through. If she it, wanted it, had a chance, she took it. If anything had pockets, I sewed them shut. Her backpack was see through. Same with her purses. I actually had to do pat downs before we left stores. I also found that there was no punishment that worked. What seemed to work was just stopping the opportunity as much as possible and not letting her keep what she took. She did have to apologize to whomever she stole from, including me. Verbally to strangers, in writing to those she knew. If taken from a store, she had to pay the price of the item from her allowance as well as lose the item back to the store or to Goodwill if they refused to take it. As to the lying, that one is something I never succeeded in really curbing. The best I could do was simply not give her a chance to lie. To this day, I simply tell her I don't want to hear an excuse, just a simple yes or no to whatever is being asked. If I think she is starting to lie, I stop her as soon as I can and simply tell her the story doesn't matter, just make whatever is wrong right. Of course, I had the advantage of only one child. She couldn't blame someone else in the house. Hopefully, you'll find the right mix of medications and a good fit in a therapist soon. It can help. [/QUOTE]
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