Welcome. You are free to tell us your story for our layperson/mom feedback, if you wish. And you don't have to either. You said on another forum you are an adoptive parent. So am I, but my kids are all grown now and none are DNA related. I also have one biological son who has been my biggest problem always, but, of late, seems to be improving...for him. You know what I mean already, and you're new
difficult children improve in their own way, in their own time.
I have adopted six kids. Four of the adoptions worked out. One child was too dangerous to live in a family (long story). My other was in an orphanage in another country until age six and he was fine as a child, but left us as an adult. Three of my adopted kids are the loves of my life and the apples of my eye and one has my precious grandaughter. I call her Buddha baby and rub her little head for good luck
None of them have yet sought out their bio. family, but they didn't know them either. I did know my youngest ones birthparents pretty well and her birthmother is pretty awesome...I wish she had stayed in her life, but she married and had three other kids and her husband wanted to put that behind them...right now Jumper isn't talking about seeing her. My oldest adoptee was adopted from Korea and in this day and age meeting is very possible, but, because she is softhearted, I feel she will wait until my husband and I are gone to do it, although we have repeatedly told her that it would not hurt us and that we'd go with and would love to give her a hug. I have one son adopted from foster care who is on the autism spectrum. I have never met a kinder, sweeter, nicer young man than him and everyone says so. He is twenty-one and almost completely independent and I love him to pieces. My bio. son lives two states away...he has a son and we Skype, but I haven't seen him much. Son has been my biggest problem, except for the the child we adopted who had to leave...that was a nightmare, but he was only with us three years and the adoption was dissolved. He really did some horrible things while living with us and we didn't even know it (stupid, stupid, stupid us)...and our younger kids were afraid of him and did not tell us.
So I understand adoption and attachment and the ins and outs and even some of the possible outcomes. Maybe we have something in common. However, my kids are older than yours. There are lots of adoptive parents here so feel free to join in and talk if that is what you want to do.
BIG WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!