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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 705799" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I think not bonding him out is a wise thing. He has done this enough to need to feel the consequences of his actions. Jail is one of those. At least if he is in jail, you know where he is, that he is getting meals, has a roof over his head, etc.... My kids have always heard that I won't bail them out, esp on drug charges. I will always love them, but bail isn't included. The topic came up when they were young when my brother got put into jail for things he did while drunk. </p><p></p><p>Please give alanon another try, or narcanon. There is a way to try it. The first few weeks you need to go to as many different groups as possible. Different times and places because each group has a different feel and dynamic. You have to try different ones because not each one will be right for you. Finding the right one will be a real gift to yourself. Your son will NOT like it, because he will see changes in you within a few weeks to months. You will set boundaries and won't be as codependent or enabling. You will begin to find what is right for you and what is healthy for you, and it won't be what he wants. It won't be what his addiction wants. You also might find Codependent Anonymous if you live in a big city, though I never lived where any of them met. </p><p></p><p>I hope some of this is helpful to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 705799, member: 1233"] I think not bonding him out is a wise thing. He has done this enough to need to feel the consequences of his actions. Jail is one of those. At least if he is in jail, you know where he is, that he is getting meals, has a roof over his head, etc.... My kids have always heard that I won't bail them out, esp on drug charges. I will always love them, but bail isn't included. The topic came up when they were young when my brother got put into jail for things he did while drunk. Please give alanon another try, or narcanon. There is a way to try it. The first few weeks you need to go to as many different groups as possible. Different times and places because each group has a different feel and dynamic. You have to try different ones because not each one will be right for you. Finding the right one will be a real gift to yourself. Your son will NOT like it, because he will see changes in you within a few weeks to months. You will set boundaries and won't be as codependent or enabling. You will begin to find what is right for you and what is healthy for you, and it won't be what he wants. It won't be what his addiction wants. You also might find Codependent Anonymous if you live in a big city, though I never lived where any of them met. I hope some of this is helpful to you. [/QUOTE]
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