New to the board

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TPaul, Sep 20, 2009.

  1. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    I everyone! New to the board and am not sure where to post a hello thread. So I picked the general board. Just move me if you need to.

    Glad to find a place where others know what life is like when ODD and Bipolar decide to move in and stay,:faint:

    Looking forward to reading all the thread and gleening wisdom and incite into how each of you deal with our daily challenges.

    Suprisingly not bald and with very little grey, :laugh:
    T. Paul
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us, but sorry you needed to.

    In your signature, you say that Levi was recently diagnosed with ODD. Can you tell us a little more about what that looks like. Are you sure it's not something else?

    I ask because around here we like to say that ODD is not a helpful diagnosis. It generally describes a set a behaviors with an underlying cause. When the underlying cause is identified and treated, the oppositional behaviors typically improve.

    To that end, I'm going to ask you some questions so you can help us help you:
    What kind of doctor diagnosed Levi?
    How does he do in school, both academically and with peers?
    Did he have any speech or developmental delays?
    Any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to loud noise, clothing tags, etc)?
    What behaviors are you seeing that particularly concern you?

    I also recommend reading The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. It has helped many of us on this board parent our extra-challenging children.

    Again, welcome.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree with smallworld about ODD not being a helpful diagnosis nor one that stands alone.

    Has your son ever had a neuropsychologist evaluation? Who diagnosed him?

    Many of us have been around the block and feel neuropsychologist evaluations are the best as there is 6-10 hours of testing and a lot of stuff comes out that others miss.

    ODD is more a description (defiant behavior) than the reason for the defiance.

    Others will come along. I will await the answers to smallmom's excellent questions.

    Welcome to the board. Youre no longer alone :tongue:
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi T.Paul. Nice to meet you.
    Neat avatar. :)
  5. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Thanks for the welcome!

    Levi was not diagnosed by a physician, but by a family therapist. We are just beginning the medical process. Find a good doctor that takes our states insurance, learning more about ODD and Bipolar in children. I began reading more and more about maniac depression-bipolar after my wife was diagnosed with the condition because it can be hereditary. More and more of Levi's actions and problems fit the bill for him being bipolar. I learned that ODD and maniac depression are many times comorbid. I feel strongly that when be see a medical profession that the bipolar will be the main condition with the ODD as a symptom, If that makes sense.

    As for Levi's actions. He can not stand to be told no about anything. He is very easily provoked. He gets his feelings hurt by very minor things. He escalates quickly into yelling and throwing tantrums. The older he has gotten the defiance to authority has gotten worse. He had some trouble in school with not listening or talking back, but it has progressivly gotten worse each year as has his problems at home.

    What kind of doctor diagnosed Levi?Spoken of above.
    How does he do in school, both academically and with peers?
    Academically he does pretty well, though because of the dyslexia problem he has had to catch up a bit over the years with his reading abilities. He tends to get in trouble for not following school rules or prodecures. He tends to have trouble with peers, fighting or such happening when they upset him.

    Did he have any speech or developmental delays? the dyslexia
    Any sensory issues (for example, sensitivity to loud noise, clothing tags, etc)?Yes tags bother him, though not things loud. He has trouble with his ears and likes things way to loud. I have hearing loss and they suspect that Levi does too.
    What behaviors are you seeing that particularly concern you?
    Let me see where to begin, :confused:. His actions when he is angry with his siblings. Recently he has choked them, and that really bothers us. He does not do it but just for a short burst, but we fear it getting worse. He tends to play very rough, and if he gets into an arguement with one of the siblings, it can become physical if we do not quickly intervene. His actions with his mother become very loud and vocal and he has began to hit a time or two recently. His attitude has been very negative.

    When his mother has bad days, he tends to have bad ones too, because she too, during manic times, is easily angred, loud, says hurtful or negative things and does not react well with the children. We struggle with her taking her medications right. When she takes them, things are better. Not perfect but better. Most of her anger is luckily for them, always directed at me. Good for them, but makes for a bummer of a time for me. I have to admit that having two loved ones with this kind of condition, and praying one of the other children do not show signs some days becomes overwhelming.

    Thanks for listening,
    T. Paul
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the board T.paul. I have bipolar and so does my son. My SO is in your shoes having to deal with the combination of having a both a mother and son who have bipolar. I know how hard that has been on him.
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Ditto what Janet said! :)
    I have gotten pretty good at leaving the girls out it. husband sees it coming and can set me straight pretty fast.
    I also am at the point in my life that I know I HAVE to take medications.
    I went for too long without and i have done far too much damage to myself and others.

    Plus it is just a joke for me to try to convince my Daughter to take medications if I am not.

    Welcome and sorry you had to find us, but this is a wonderful place to have to find.
  8. miles2go

    miles2go Member

    Hey T.Paul, welcome. There are a few of us dads around here.
    I mostly keep low profile because my BiPolar (BP) wife is in denial,
    tries to prevent our BiPolar (BP) son's treatment and might fly into rage if discovers my postings.
    You can PM me if you like.
    BiPolar (BP) comes in many flavors afaik, but I would ask just how much control do you think your son has when he goes into his angry response?
    I have found that really NO consequence, best reward or worst punishment, could compel my BiPolar (BP) son when that dark cloud comes.
    I also see from my research on the web that untreated BiPolar (BP) does progressive and permanent damage to the brain, and not just during seizure-like "episodes"
    but also constant wearing-out of prefrontal tissue with resulting damage
    to cognitive abilities, impulse control, "emotional intelligence" etc.
    All the more reasons to diagnose and treat it early.
  9. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Welcome. My son and husband are both bipolar, my dtr is a hormonal teenager, and I am just not sure about me some days! lol. My husband takes his medications, but we have yet to find one that works well for him. Hugs, and try to find someway that you can deal with all that you have on your plate. I know I have several things I do to try to remain as close to sanity as possible, and if I am not doing well no one is doing well. Don't know if this is true for you.

    My husband has mostly hypomanic or mixed states, and is not angry but irritable, grumpy and rude. It does bother the kids, but it is hard.

    I am glad you found this board. It is a very supportive place, and I love it!