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<blockquote data-quote="kitty59" data-source="post: 761934" data-attributes="member: 28701"><p>I have not written in a while, as I felt like my days were filled with dealing with complete depression and trying to cope with my son's constant anger, nasty attitudes, which would flip briefly into the person I thought he was. I truly do not know who he is anymore. I saw years ago a person who was very empathetic and big-hearted. How much is the bipolar contributing vs. the alcohol and Adderall?</p><p></p><p>At the end of January, after several other conflicts during the month, my son came upstairs and picked up a box that weighed 30lbs and ran at me with it and smashed my head on the side, pushing me into a wall. For what reason? I have absolutely no idea. I did not call the police, because he is on probation and I did not want to see him in jail.</p><p></p><p>Later that day, once again, he disconnected the router and was taking it to the basement. He was mumbling and angry. I did not know what he was doing, but I told him that I had to have an Internet connection. He started screaming at me, told me he absolutely hated me, then grabbed a mallet and started to come up from the basement. I ran upstairs and locked myself in a room. He used the mallet and broke the handle off the door and then used the mallet to put two holes in the door. He looked at me as he held the mallet up to my easy child monitor. I asked him to please put the mallet down, but he smacked it against the monitor. Amazingly, he did not damage it. By this time I was on the phone with 911. He was screaming, telling me to put the phone down. I did so and he smashed my phone. He then went into my bedroom and used the mallet to put a hole in the door.</p><p></p><p>The police came and what could have been less serious got bad, because he threw water at them and was fighting them arresting him. They tasered him and he started to bang his head on the floor and the wall was all bloodied. The police stepped on his hands so they were all bloodied. They charged him with aggravated assault and he went to jail for violating probation. They let him out of jail and he is currently in drug/alcohol rehab. He called last night and he still has an attitude. He does not want to be where he is. It is a terrible place. He does not want to attend meetings. I told him, "fine, don't stay and don't complete the program and you can go back to jail." Whenever I said something to him yesterday to make a suggestion, he would catch an attitude. He is not the same person he was 25 years ago. He wants to move out but does not have the means to do so. I do not have the means to buy him a place to live and support him.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, this group is filled with so many similar sad stories and it hurts my heart to read about other parents suffering through this. Life has been hard enough. This has been the cherry on top. I wish there was a magic answer to make their brains work right. My Mom was in a psychiatric hospital when I was a kid for clinical depression. It did not help her. My son has been pumped full of so many different drugs and nothing has seemed to work. I do not know what the answer is, but it is so tiring. I have no one left right now. I could manage though because the two weeks I did not hear from my son, I felt so much stress dissipate. Just having two phone calls from him yesterday sent me over the edge. </p><p></p><p>I will pray for the new people that have posted about dealing with mental illness and substance abuse. It is not fun. I do not want to see my son go to jail.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kitty59, post: 761934, member: 28701"] I have not written in a while, as I felt like my days were filled with dealing with complete depression and trying to cope with my son's constant anger, nasty attitudes, which would flip briefly into the person I thought he was. I truly do not know who he is anymore. I saw years ago a person who was very empathetic and big-hearted. How much is the bipolar contributing vs. the alcohol and Adderall? At the end of January, after several other conflicts during the month, my son came upstairs and picked up a box that weighed 30lbs and ran at me with it and smashed my head on the side, pushing me into a wall. For what reason? I have absolutely no idea. I did not call the police, because he is on probation and I did not want to see him in jail. Later that day, once again, he disconnected the router and was taking it to the basement. He was mumbling and angry. I did not know what he was doing, but I told him that I had to have an Internet connection. He started screaming at me, told me he absolutely hated me, then grabbed a mallet and started to come up from the basement. I ran upstairs and locked myself in a room. He used the mallet and broke the handle off the door and then used the mallet to put two holes in the door. He looked at me as he held the mallet up to my easy child monitor. I asked him to please put the mallet down, but he smacked it against the monitor. Amazingly, he did not damage it. By this time I was on the phone with 911. He was screaming, telling me to put the phone down. I did so and he smashed my phone. He then went into my bedroom and used the mallet to put a hole in the door. The police came and what could have been less serious got bad, because he threw water at them and was fighting them arresting him. They tasered him and he started to bang his head on the floor and the wall was all bloodied. The police stepped on his hands so they were all bloodied. They charged him with aggravated assault and he went to jail for violating probation. They let him out of jail and he is currently in drug/alcohol rehab. He called last night and he still has an attitude. He does not want to be where he is. It is a terrible place. He does not want to attend meetings. I told him, "fine, don't stay and don't complete the program and you can go back to jail." Whenever I said something to him yesterday to make a suggestion, he would catch an attitude. He is not the same person he was 25 years ago. He wants to move out but does not have the means to do so. I do not have the means to buy him a place to live and support him. Honestly, this group is filled with so many similar sad stories and it hurts my heart to read about other parents suffering through this. Life has been hard enough. This has been the cherry on top. I wish there was a magic answer to make their brains work right. My Mom was in a psychiatric hospital when I was a kid for clinical depression. It did not help her. My son has been pumped full of so many different drugs and nothing has seemed to work. I do not know what the answer is, but it is so tiring. I have no one left right now. I could manage though because the two weeks I did not hear from my son, I felt so much stress dissipate. Just having two phone calls from him yesterday sent me over the edge. I will pray for the new people that have posted about dealing with mental illness and substance abuse. It is not fun. I do not want to see my son go to jail. [/QUOTE]
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