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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 28980" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>Mike,</p><p>many people tried to discourage us again sending our son to the alt. ed. highschool also, but he was hanging around all the same type of kids anyway, so in the end it didn't really make a difference. Most of his close friends went there first and he just followed. I know in my heart he still would have gotten into the drugs in the regular highschool because of who he hung with, and he would have never graduated. Atleast I only ended up dealing with one of the two. Grade wise he did great there and his teachers absoluteley loved him. He actually graduated half year ahead of time because he had extra credits, but he also graduated a full blown heroin addict. </p><p></p><p>Your easy child son is still in there, it may just take some time for him to come back out. We discovered our sons heroin addiction in June of 05 and immediatley got involved in the alanon parent group. By August he was stealing from us left and right and once I discovered he was stealing my checks and forging them and pawned half of our belonings, we had to ask him to leave our home which totally ripped my heart out. He had been arrested twice for posession of narcotics and with the help of a great attorney he was mandated to a state rehab for 45 days and after that we would not allow him to come back home and gave him the option of moving into a soberhouse. He didn't stay at the first one long enough and relapsed, put himself back into the state rehab this past September and is now living back in a soberhouse and will be 6 months clean next Thursday and 20 years old on Tuesday. This is something we never thought we would see happen, him being clean and sometimes even living until another birthday. He is working full time, paying his own rent, all his bills and is happy, healthy and a joy to be around again. He has a sponsor and goes to meetings as required by his house. Just like him, my husband and I take it one day at a time, but for today we are really really proud of him and how far he has come. This is a kid I did everything for and never thought he'd be able to tie his own shoes without me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />, now he even buys his own :smile: Only scarey thing right now is that his girlfriend had a baby 5 months ago and we are waiting on the results of a paternity test. Awful, unhealthy relationship, but he and us will have to deal with whatever the answer may be and take it from there. If the baby is his, he will have to learn to support her just as he has learned to support himself. </p><p></p><p>Keep your eyes open and follow your heart. Learn how to not enable and become strong against his manipulations. I was such an enabling person and my son used to be the master of manipulation when it came to me, but through much practice I have learned how to not enable and to detatch with love, and most importantly he has learned how to be an independant responsible adult. He was only 18 when he had to leave our home and he probably will never live home again because it would not be healthy for anyone involved. I feel he would be moving backwards to ever come live back home. </p><p></p><p>Hope this isn't too long and boring, I just wanted you to know there is always hope. That is one important thing I always hung onto was to never ever give up hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 28980, member: 2442"] Mike, many people tried to discourage us again sending our son to the alt. ed. highschool also, but he was hanging around all the same type of kids anyway, so in the end it didn't really make a difference. Most of his close friends went there first and he just followed. I know in my heart he still would have gotten into the drugs in the regular highschool because of who he hung with, and he would have never graduated. Atleast I only ended up dealing with one of the two. Grade wise he did great there and his teachers absoluteley loved him. He actually graduated half year ahead of time because he had extra credits, but he also graduated a full blown heroin addict. Your easy child son is still in there, it may just take some time for him to come back out. We discovered our sons heroin addiction in June of 05 and immediatley got involved in the alanon parent group. By August he was stealing from us left and right and once I discovered he was stealing my checks and forging them and pawned half of our belonings, we had to ask him to leave our home which totally ripped my heart out. He had been arrested twice for posession of narcotics and with the help of a great attorney he was mandated to a state rehab for 45 days and after that we would not allow him to come back home and gave him the option of moving into a soberhouse. He didn't stay at the first one long enough and relapsed, put himself back into the state rehab this past September and is now living back in a soberhouse and will be 6 months clean next Thursday and 20 years old on Tuesday. This is something we never thought we would see happen, him being clean and sometimes even living until another birthday. He is working full time, paying his own rent, all his bills and is happy, healthy and a joy to be around again. He has a sponsor and goes to meetings as required by his house. Just like him, my husband and I take it one day at a time, but for today we are really really proud of him and how far he has come. This is a kid I did everything for and never thought he'd be able to tie his own shoes without me :), now he even buys his own [img]:smile:[/img] Only scarey thing right now is that his girlfriend had a baby 5 months ago and we are waiting on the results of a paternity test. Awful, unhealthy relationship, but he and us will have to deal with whatever the answer may be and take it from there. If the baby is his, he will have to learn to support her just as he has learned to support himself. Keep your eyes open and follow your heart. Learn how to not enable and become strong against his manipulations. I was such an enabling person and my son used to be the master of manipulation when it came to me, but through much practice I have learned how to not enable and to detatch with love, and most importantly he has learned how to be an independant responsible adult. He was only 18 when he had to leave our home and he probably will never live home again because it would not be healthy for anyone involved. I feel he would be moving backwards to ever come live back home. Hope this isn't too long and boring, I just wanted you to know there is always hope. That is one important thing I always hung onto was to never ever give up hope. [/QUOTE]
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