New to this forum

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by steph3306, Mar 28, 2008.

  1. steph3306

    steph3306 New Member

    Hi, someone on another forum was kind enough to tell me about his forum. I am having problems with my 3 year old. We adopted him when he was 2 months old. Both of his bio parents are MR/learning delayed. His older brother was learning delayed but thanks to early intervention he is doing GREAT. They are testing my 3 year old for autism. They said something about autism spectrum. They have also brough up ODD and anxiety. We started him on respiderol (which we hated too) and really the only thing we have seen change is he eating like a pig!! He has only been on it for two weeks. After reading through some post on here I didn't realize that alot of feelings I feel other parents feel. I was starting to feel like I was a bad parent and that a lot of his problems were because of me.
    We are having problems with him always responding NO to everything. He tells us to shut up right now. He wont listen to you until you get up to get him and then he will do what you want. He is peeing and pooping on the floor. He knows how to use the toilet just wont. He keeps sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night . He is always yelling at other kids and doesn't really play with them. He gets real angry and hits his head on the door, floor, cement, anything. He is quit the handful. It is like he retains all information but just doesn't know how to respond back. He doesn't engage in conversations just says what he wants or what he has heard.
    Some of his good qualities are that he is only 3 and can master the computer and plays his brothers kindergarten games. He knows his ABC and all the sounds. He can count to 20 forward and from 10 backwards and he is already reading sight words. He can type his name, his brothers name and mom and dad on the computer. He is very smart. He is loving and tries to be a comedian.
    We currently have him enrolled in a preschool for children with disabilites and he is seeing a neuologist. The neurologist is the one who put him on the respirdol. His doctore couldn't believe that the dosage he was on didn't make him real tired but it hasn't at all. I am just wondering if anyone can think of something else we could be doing or should be checking for. Thanks for any input.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi Steph,

    It sounds like you have your hands full, but you're in good company here.

    It sounds like you're covering the diagnostic bases--make sure to include audiology, speech, and Occupational Therapist (OT). Because of the cognitive history in the bio parents you also may want to look into a neuropsychologist later on down the road if he isn't making progress.

    I'd urge you to get a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene as well as reading the thread at the top of this board. You may find that interacting with him in a far more flexible way can help undo his knee jerk reaction to your requests.

    Very early reading with Autism or Autistic traits is called Hyperlexia. You may be able to capitalize on this skill by using calendars, schedules, written routines, etc to help get him through. Many Hyperlexic children who won't respond to verbal commands will pay attention to written language. Conversations that can't happen verbally might be able to happen on the computer or via pencil and paper.

    What behaviors was the psychiatric wanting to target with the risperdal? As far as medications for the younger ones go, this one is usually tolerated better than most but I'm a little surprised to hear it used in a 3 year old who is in the middle of assessments.

    I would get him into intensive speech therapy ASAP. Check to see if there are any summer programs through early intervention or speech summer camps in the area.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, there. I adopted a child from foster care at age two, and he's on the autism spectrum.
    First of all, I'll bet his parents are too. They may not even really be MR--often, especially in their early days, autism was confused with MR. But this is just a guess. Was your child exposed to drugs or alcohol in utero? That can make a big difference too.
    I would get this child into as much early intervention as you can, and I wouldn't worry about the ODD part of the diagnosis. My son would throw his time out chair, scratch his face, kick us, tantrum, etc. Once he learned to communicate, he turned around on his own. He started speaking well at four and a half. Also, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids can have bad sensory issues. Your son may not really know when he has to go to the bathroom. My son wasn't #2 trained until he was five.
    The good news is that since my son had so much early intervention and school supports he is 14 1/2 and a great kid who NOBODY guesses is on the spectrum. He is kind, polite and easygoing. That angry toddler isn't there anymore. He is "quirky" but he is doing great.
    Get your son into every bit of intervention that you can. The earlier the kids get this sort of help, the better they do.
    My son isn't on medications. They never helped him. In fact, they made him worse.
    Welcome to the board.
  4. steph3306

    steph3306 New Member

    He goes to preschool 5 days a week, half days for children with disabilities. He is also going to summer school for four weeks and at his last IEP meeting his teachers are going to start coming to our house and hour a month. He receives speech and Occupational Therapist (OT) at school. We really think a lot of his problems are because he can't communicate the way he wants too. It is so hard to tell about the ODD because a lot of 3 year olds aren't real easy going. We still haven't seen much change on this medicine. We did not want him on medicine but some of his behaviors are becoming a safety concern. Like if he is mad he will get out of his car seat and unlock the door and open when we drive down the road. He has absolutely no fear!!

    As a baby he wasn't exposed to alcohol/drugs. His mom was 46 when she had him. She was diabetic and had no prenatal care. She went into insulin shock when she was preg. with him. I know he was born prematurely but weight was ok. He had bloody stools, hypoglycemic, swelling of the brain, heart murmur, sleep apnea, and other stuff. He has outgrown a lot of it . Now he has problems with allergies and that is about it. We had his hearing tested and it is fine. The school keeps saying something about sensory issues also. They say he wont touch certain things or eat certain textures. They also think that is why he wants to sleep with us because of the warmth.

    I just wish that they could draw some blood and say ok this is what is wrong. It is truely nice to have someone to talk to about this and if anyone has any advice or suggestions PLEASE feel free to tell me. I just want what is best for my son.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds like he's on the right track. Just keep doing what you're doing. Once he learns to communicate better, maybe he'll calm down, like my son did. My son was just so frustrated that he couldn't make himself be understood.
    My son also went to early ed all year around. He also went to Head Start in the morning/Special Education afternoons. He had speech, Occupational Therapist (OT), PT and social skills. He continued supports through school. Now you can barely tell he is on the spectrum. In fact, nobody knows unless I tell them!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi!! Sounds like you are in the right place. You are NOT a bad parent. Most of us feel that way at times. Sometimes a lot of times. If you were a bad parent you would not be looking for places like this one.

    I strongly encourage testing for Sensory Integration Disorder. An occupational Therapist does this. Our school assessment was not worth the paper it was written on. We had a private one done and it was awesome!!! REally ended up helping more than I dreamed anything could.

    My oldes has aspergers (autistic spectrum disorder) and I know the earlier you can get intervention, the better. LOTS of intervention.

    Not being able to communicate leads to frustration and LOTS of behaviors that are hard to handle. SOme parents use signing to help. Also, you can get simple pictures of faces expressing various feelings - think stick people faces, not photographs. We had lots of luck with these also. Didn't seem like it for a long time, but over time it was great.

    Keep coming back!!


    ps. Did the neuro do a sleep deprived EEG? It is a test for seizures, many of the behaviors can be caused by seizures. There really isn't a good way to guess, but it is a pretty non-invasive test. They thought my daughter had ADHD. I insisted on the EEG and she has epilepsy. They LOOK the same, but the treatment is very different.
  7. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    Hello and welcome! The experienced parents on this board have really great ideas and wisdom. I'm just a beginner, myself, but wanted to tell you that you're not alone!