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New to this. Grown Child homeless and messing up big time.
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 672768" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Miss Tired,</p><p>So sorry for your heartache, you have landed in a good place here, lots of us, including me have been right where you are.</p><p></p><p>First of all, dear it is very tough to have to hear what you have heard from your son, or read the texts. Especially with no sleep. You can start by turning off your phone at night. I do not think it is unreasonable for your son to respect your need for sleep.</p><p>That is where it starts, Miss Tired, by setting boundaries, sticking to them and expecting respect from our d c's.</p><p>Your son has already shown you, through his actions what he feels his end of the deal is. You give, he takes.</p><p></p><p>At 27, he should be more than capable of caring for himself. </p><p></p><p>Stealing grandmas credit card is an extremely low blow. Ouch.</p><p></p><p>The more we give, the more addictive adult children take. It can be a never ending dance and we are the only ones who can stop it. The music will not stop, the whining, the insults, the pleading, and blaming. It is a cruel game to keep us enabling, giving beyond our resources. This music is never ending as long as our d c's are actively using. So, we must change the channel. Stop listening to the music, stop dancing the dance and change the channel.</p><p></p><p>It is hard, but necessary for your life and your sons. Do not let him draw you in Miss Tired. Stand firm and strengthen yourself with knowing that you cannot help him. He must help himself, he must want help.</p><p>No money, food, time of yours can help him.</p><p></p><p>We fall into the trap of worrying, and d c's play us with it. They play us with guilt, they play us with whatever it takes to keep us shelling out funds, or housing, or food. What we don't realize is by helping, we have helped them stay in the game of drug use.</p><p></p><p>If you can shift your focus to that understanding, that helping doesn't help, that is the foundation to taking steps to change your response.</p><p></p><p>One day, one step at a time. Keep posting here, it is very helpful. Others will come along.</p><p>Taking care of yourself is most important. Please get some rest, turn off your phone at night.</p><p></p><p>Peace to you</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 672768, member: 19522"] Hi Miss Tired, So sorry for your heartache, you have landed in a good place here, lots of us, including me have been right where you are. First of all, dear it is very tough to have to hear what you have heard from your son, or read the texts. Especially with no sleep. You can start by turning off your phone at night. I do not think it is unreasonable for your son to respect your need for sleep. That is where it starts, Miss Tired, by setting boundaries, sticking to them and expecting respect from our d c's. Your son has already shown you, through his actions what he feels his end of the deal is. You give, he takes. At 27, he should be more than capable of caring for himself. Stealing grandmas credit card is an extremely low blow. Ouch. The more we give, the more addictive adult children take. It can be a never ending dance and we are the only ones who can stop it. The music will not stop, the whining, the insults, the pleading, and blaming. It is a cruel game to keep us enabling, giving beyond our resources. This music is never ending as long as our d c's are actively using. So, we must change the channel. Stop listening to the music, stop dancing the dance and change the channel. It is hard, but necessary for your life and your sons. Do not let him draw you in Miss Tired. Stand firm and strengthen yourself with knowing that you cannot help him. He must help himself, he must want help. No money, food, time of yours can help him. We fall into the trap of worrying, and d c's play us with it. They play us with guilt, they play us with whatever it takes to keep us shelling out funds, or housing, or food. What we don't realize is by helping, we have helped them stay in the game of drug use. If you can shift your focus to that understanding, that helping doesn't help, that is the foundation to taking steps to change your response. One day, one step at a time. Keep posting here, it is very helpful. Others will come along. Taking care of yourself is most important. Please get some rest, turn off your phone at night. Peace to you (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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