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Parent Emeritus
New to this. Grown Child homeless and messing up big time.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 672915" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome to our little corner of the world Miss Tired.</p><p>You have found a very good place to come for support and to just vent when you need to. You are not alone in dealing with your son, you have us now.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It's very typical of our adult difficult children to pass blame onto anyone other than themselves. I have heard it all from my son.</p><p>My son will be 34 in a couple of months and has two beautiful children that he abandoned. He is basically a homeless wonderer. He blames his messed up life on me, his dad, anyone really. He always affirms how is smarter than everyone yet his life continues in chaos.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, our adult difficult children are quick to take our money but never our advise on how they might manage their lives better.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I completely understand why you would feel this way but you are not responsible. Your mom made a choice to let your son stay with her and your son made a choice to steal from her by charging things on her credit card. Does your mom expect you to reimburse her?? The debt is your sons not yours.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, it is easier said than done but, once you start it does get easier.</p><p></p><p>We all have a desire to "help" our children but what I hope you will come to understand is sometimes helping is not helping, sometimes helping actually hurts them.</p><p>One thing I had to start doing that really helped me was to stop seeing my son as "my little boy" but instead seeing my son as the adult man he is.</p><p></p><p>The others have given you some very good advice.</p><p></p><p>I do hope you will stick around, as I said before you will find wonderful support here.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you..........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 672915, member: 18516"] Welcome to our little corner of the world Miss Tired. You have found a very good place to come for support and to just vent when you need to. You are not alone in dealing with your son, you have us now. It's very typical of our adult difficult children to pass blame onto anyone other than themselves. I have heard it all from my son. My son will be 34 in a couple of months and has two beautiful children that he abandoned. He is basically a homeless wonderer. He blames his messed up life on me, his dad, anyone really. He always affirms how is smarter than everyone yet his life continues in chaos. Yes, our adult difficult children are quick to take our money but never our advise on how they might manage their lives better. I completely understand why you would feel this way but you are not responsible. Your mom made a choice to let your son stay with her and your son made a choice to steal from her by charging things on her credit card. Does your mom expect you to reimburse her?? The debt is your sons not yours. Yes, it is easier said than done but, once you start it does get easier. We all have a desire to "help" our children but what I hope you will come to understand is sometimes helping is not helping, sometimes helping actually hurts them. One thing I had to start doing that really helped me was to stop seeing my son as "my little boy" but instead seeing my son as the adult man he is. The others have given you some very good advice. I do hope you will stick around, as I said before you will find wonderful support here. ((HUGS)) to you.......................... [/QUOTE]
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New to this. Grown Child homeless and messing up big time.
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