dantheman2
New Member
Hello,
This is my first post after searching and finding this forum. I don't know where to begin. I will give a little background.
My wife and I have two daughters. One birth daughter and one adopted daughter.
J is our adopted daughter. She is about to turn 15 in a couple of weeks. We adopted her at 7 yrs.
She has ADHD, ODD, possibly personality disorder, possibly Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (has symptoms of).
She was neglected by her birth parents Probably from birth to about 4 years old. She was fostered and rejected by a few families who wouldn't adopt her. We knew it would be hard, but we never had any idea.
She has always been defiant and has had many problems, but in the last 6-8 months, it has gotten a lot worse.
Constant stealing, lying, sneaking, yelling and fighting (verbally) with Mom and Dad and sister.
Her grades are failing. Her only interest is to "have fun with her friends". She's pretty much in a constant state of being "grounded" due to her behavior. No, friends, TV, movies, makeup, most items removed from her room. We have an alarm on her door so we know if she leaves her room at night. She regularly breaks the alarm or steals the batteries to try to sneak out.
Over the summer, she sneaked out every night for about 4 or 5 days in a row to go to a boy's house. She hangs out with the worst behaved people in the school. Those are her friends, the ones who have been arrested, take drugs, skip school. She slept with one boy over the summer. She's a cutter. She fights back (physically) if we try to take something away from her like a book. She refuses to do her homework. She is failing 4 or 5 classes. Every once in a while she has a good day or two. Then the next day without warning, she skips school.
She goes to a therapist, she's been to a mental hospital for a week, after she came back, two times now she ran away, went to a friends house. When my wife tried to give her her medications about a week ago and get her to go to bed, she picked up a knife and pointed it at her telling her to stay away. We called the cops. They took her to juvi. As soon as she got to juvi., they called us to pick her up? (Really????)
She's had encounters with the police 4 times in the past week for running away and the knife incident.
She knows that we are getting ready to put her in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (residential treatment center). The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has no open beds and she's actually too unstable to take her there!! They won't accept her is what they said unless she gets stable. Really???
Life at home is pure hell for us and her. No wonder she wants to run away and go to a friend's. The people she hangs out with at school constantly ask her to cut class, they go somewhere and does who knows what. She has been drug tested 2 or 3 times and it has been negative.
I expect her to run away again probably after school today. We can't be with her 24/7.
A lot of this has been years in the making. No amount of treament, therapy, medicine is doing any good. I am just about at the breaking point. (And by that I mean, I want to give her up to the state if that's possible or I need to move out and separate from my family.) Any help? Nobody seems to understand.
D
This is my first post after searching and finding this forum. I don't know where to begin. I will give a little background.
My wife and I have two daughters. One birth daughter and one adopted daughter.
J is our adopted daughter. She is about to turn 15 in a couple of weeks. We adopted her at 7 yrs.
She has ADHD, ODD, possibly personality disorder, possibly Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (has symptoms of).
She was neglected by her birth parents Probably from birth to about 4 years old. She was fostered and rejected by a few families who wouldn't adopt her. We knew it would be hard, but we never had any idea.
She has always been defiant and has had many problems, but in the last 6-8 months, it has gotten a lot worse.
Constant stealing, lying, sneaking, yelling and fighting (verbally) with Mom and Dad and sister.
Her grades are failing. Her only interest is to "have fun with her friends". She's pretty much in a constant state of being "grounded" due to her behavior. No, friends, TV, movies, makeup, most items removed from her room. We have an alarm on her door so we know if she leaves her room at night. She regularly breaks the alarm or steals the batteries to try to sneak out.
Over the summer, she sneaked out every night for about 4 or 5 days in a row to go to a boy's house. She hangs out with the worst behaved people in the school. Those are her friends, the ones who have been arrested, take drugs, skip school. She slept with one boy over the summer. She's a cutter. She fights back (physically) if we try to take something away from her like a book. She refuses to do her homework. She is failing 4 or 5 classes. Every once in a while she has a good day or two. Then the next day without warning, she skips school.
She goes to a therapist, she's been to a mental hospital for a week, after she came back, two times now she ran away, went to a friends house. When my wife tried to give her her medications about a week ago and get her to go to bed, she picked up a knife and pointed it at her telling her to stay away. We called the cops. They took her to juvi. As soon as she got to juvi., they called us to pick her up? (Really????)
She's had encounters with the police 4 times in the past week for running away and the knife incident.
She knows that we are getting ready to put her in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) (residential treatment center). The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has no open beds and she's actually too unstable to take her there!! They won't accept her is what they said unless she gets stable. Really???
Life at home is pure hell for us and her. No wonder she wants to run away and go to a friend's. The people she hangs out with at school constantly ask her to cut class, they go somewhere and does who knows what. She has been drug tested 2 or 3 times and it has been negative.
I expect her to run away again probably after school today. We can't be with her 24/7.
A lot of this has been years in the making. No amount of treament, therapy, medicine is doing any good. I am just about at the breaking point. (And by that I mean, I want to give her up to the state if that's possible or I need to move out and separate from my family.) Any help? Nobody seems to understand.
D