Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New to this site. Need help and advice
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639371" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We did adopt children and the ones that were older adoptees (not babies) were all disasterous experiences. One was frankly dangerous and we gave him back. Sounds awful, but he strangled two dogs and abused sexually our two youngest kids.He scared our little ones to the point that they didn't tell us and he acted so charming to all adults, including us, that we had no clue that HE had killed our first dog. The second one was obvious and that's what outted him about all the things he'd been doing without our knowing, incluing his love of fire play, holding a knife to kids to make them do the unthinkable to each other, and peeing and pooping in the closets (we thought it was our dog). His entire time staying with us was a lie. We got him at age eleven. That is just too old to expect a bonding. Seven is old too. Her brain developed the fastest when she was with abusers and she learned to mistrust all people...it is not just your family. I hope she is not dangerous to any of you. That is common in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).</p><p></p><p>I have no hope to offer, just empathy because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is awful and rarely seems to improve. I'm in a group of moms who are all adoptive parents. The young infant adoptions tend to go pretty well, but not the ones who adopt older kids. The stories are much like yours. Attachment therapy is supposed to help. I don't know that much about it. It is controversial. But once my husband I found out that this kid was sexually abusing his six year old sister and seven year old brother (also adopted, so I'm not against adoptive kids), we called CPS and told them to get him or we couldn't be responsible for what we'd do. They were very supportive to us and this kid ended up being prospecuted by the county for sexual abuse of a minor. He was six years older and that's the age difference when they can prosecute. WE had nothing to do with the prosecution, but we did not go to the hearing and have not seen this child since nor do we want to.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you have to go through this. So much for love and a caring family and stability curing all :/ This is most definitely not your fault. It happened before you even knew this child was alive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639371, member: 1550"] We did adopt children and the ones that were older adoptees (not babies) were all disasterous experiences. One was frankly dangerous and we gave him back. Sounds awful, but he strangled two dogs and abused sexually our two youngest kids.He scared our little ones to the point that they didn't tell us and he acted so charming to all adults, including us, that we had no clue that HE had killed our first dog. The second one was obvious and that's what outted him about all the things he'd been doing without our knowing, incluing his love of fire play, holding a knife to kids to make them do the unthinkable to each other, and peeing and pooping in the closets (we thought it was our dog). His entire time staying with us was a lie. We got him at age eleven. That is just too old to expect a bonding. Seven is old too. Her brain developed the fastest when she was with abusers and she learned to mistrust all people...it is not just your family. I hope she is not dangerous to any of you. That is common in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I have no hope to offer, just empathy because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is awful and rarely seems to improve. I'm in a group of moms who are all adoptive parents. The young infant adoptions tend to go pretty well, but not the ones who adopt older kids. The stories are much like yours. Attachment therapy is supposed to help. I don't know that much about it. It is controversial. But once my husband I found out that this kid was sexually abusing his six year old sister and seven year old brother (also adopted, so I'm not against adoptive kids), we called CPS and told them to get him or we couldn't be responsible for what we'd do. They were very supportive to us and this kid ended up being prospecuted by the county for sexual abuse of a minor. He was six years older and that's the age difference when they can prosecute. WE had nothing to do with the prosecution, but we did not go to the hearing and have not seen this child since nor do we want to. I am sorry you have to go through this. So much for love and a caring family and stability curing all :/ This is most definitely not your fault. It happened before you even knew this child was alive. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
New to this site. Need help and advice
Top