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<blockquote data-quote="Ithinkmykidsgonecrazy" data-source="post: 639459" data-attributes="member: 18533"><p>It almost seemed like you were describing my daughter. But mine isn't adopted. Mine was born this way, and is almost 18. She's in an alternative HS now, and I'm praying she graduates. She's a year behind, because she doesn't and has never cared about school, and even though we begged, they wouldn't hold her back. She has no control over her mouth, and doesn't and has never cared about consequences. Just this morning she was attempting to leave the house in ripped (showing parts of her body she shouldn't be) jeans. Of course I got nothing but back talk and argument about it. BUT, she changed her clothes. Why? Because the thing she loves most was on the line, it's ALWAYS on the line. But as you know, this is NOTHING. Her whole life, has been a battle. She gets what she wants, or EVERYONE pays- so we have paid a LOT. I am a fighter, and no teenager is going to bully me. What I wrote to tell you, is that it has dramatically improved from when she was 15. So there is hope. Now she has a job. (Which she hates because she has to WORK) She has to if she wants to drive her car. (Which she had to buy). She is required to pay for her ins. And any gas she needs. She is quite possibly the laziest person I have ever met. Find out what your daughter wants, and what she loves, and use that. Mine wanted to drive. And she wanted her cell phone (which I monitor) Well she has had her phone and car taken many times, but she has to work to get them back. Oh and she has to pay for her phone too. We live in a very small town, so jobs are hard to come by.. Which is why she is just NOW able to drive and she's almost 18. She knows 18 is coming and the car is in MY name. So if she wants to keep it, she has to obey. I pick my battles. She's mouthy and far from perfect. But she's not doing drugs, she's still going to school, and she isn't pregant. For her, these are all huge wins. I am working on responsibility with her. She thinks turning 18 is gonna be awesome, but when she finds herself living in that car... She's gonna think my rules were not too bad.</p><p>She is my middle child, so she isn't my first rodeo either.</p><p></p><p>My advice? Make her work. Give her a job, (purpose, drive) that pays. Keep the money in sight but not in reach. (Like a bank account she can view.) Her 16th is coming! A car= freedom. Be there, always. Around every corner. Let her know that you are ALWAYS watching, but letting her make her mistakes to learn from. Teensafe allows you to monitor her phone without her knowing. Know where she is, and pick your battles. Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ithinkmykidsgonecrazy, post: 639459, member: 18533"] It almost seemed like you were describing my daughter. But mine isn't adopted. Mine was born this way, and is almost 18. She's in an alternative HS now, and I'm praying she graduates. She's a year behind, because she doesn't and has never cared about school, and even though we begged, they wouldn't hold her back. She has no control over her mouth, and doesn't and has never cared about consequences. Just this morning she was attempting to leave the house in ripped (showing parts of her body she shouldn't be) jeans. Of course I got nothing but back talk and argument about it. BUT, she changed her clothes. Why? Because the thing she loves most was on the line, it's ALWAYS on the line. But as you know, this is NOTHING. Her whole life, has been a battle. She gets what she wants, or EVERYONE pays- so we have paid a LOT. I am a fighter, and no teenager is going to bully me. What I wrote to tell you, is that it has dramatically improved from when she was 15. So there is hope. Now she has a job. (Which she hates because she has to WORK) She has to if she wants to drive her car. (Which she had to buy). She is required to pay for her ins. And any gas she needs. She is quite possibly the laziest person I have ever met. Find out what your daughter wants, and what she loves, and use that. Mine wanted to drive. And she wanted her cell phone (which I monitor) Well she has had her phone and car taken many times, but she has to work to get them back. Oh and she has to pay for her phone too. We live in a very small town, so jobs are hard to come by.. Which is why she is just NOW able to drive and she's almost 18. She knows 18 is coming and the car is in MY name. So if she wants to keep it, she has to obey. I pick my battles. She's mouthy and far from perfect. But she's not doing drugs, she's still going to school, and she isn't pregant. For her, these are all huge wins. I am working on responsibility with her. She thinks turning 18 is gonna be awesome, but when she finds herself living in that car... She's gonna think my rules were not too bad. She is my middle child, so she isn't my first rodeo either. My advice? Make her work. Give her a job, (purpose, drive) that pays. Keep the money in sight but not in reach. (Like a bank account she can view.) Her 16th is coming! A car= freedom. Be there, always. Around every corner. Let her know that you are ALWAYS watching, but letting her make her mistakes to learn from. Teensafe allows you to monitor her phone without her knowing. Know where she is, and pick your battles. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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