New to this

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tracyrat, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. Tracyrat

    Tracyrat New Member

    Hello everyone. I was looking for a support group to help me and my family get through the newest challenges that we are starting to face. I will start at the beginning...

    my son, who is 6, has always been very active his entire childhood so far and I was always concerned, but was told that boys will be boys and I should just brush it off and I did. Just recently in the last few months noticed a lot of serious changes in his attitude, eating habits and personality. He went from being a food picker to never being full and started to gain weight from overeating. He is in the principals office at school almost everyday for being disruptive during class and when he is at home he gets so frustrated with learning and cries for every little thing. My little boy is a happy boy and it is killing me to see him this way. This past week we had our first visit with a psychologist to determine what is going on with my baby. He has his one on one with her this week. I am new to all of this process and in need of support and hope that I came to he right place. Thanks for reading

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there and welcome to the board.

    Can you help us out a bit by telling us more about your son, like how he was as an infant and toddler, if he had any delays, if he liked to cuddle with you as an infant, if he knows how to interact with his same age peers? Are there any disorders of any kind of either side of your son's genetic family tree? Does your child have any rages? Does he live with his biological father too? Any siblings? Any very early life disruptions?

    I actually like neuropsychologist evaluations better than just seeing psychologists as a first line of defense. I like t he testing process to see if any disorder is going on and what problems/deficits may be causing our children so much angst. I like doing that first rather than going the "let me talk to him" route, especially with a very young child. Your child is probably, like most of ours, wired differently and behavioral therapy, which works with typical children, doesn't work well with most of our children. Sounds like he is being punished and that isn't good. He probably can not control himself.

    Glad you came here. The more you tell us, the more we can support you.
  3. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Welcome Tracy. My daughter has adhd and was a livewire from the time she was 1till now. She's better with medication, but it was a struggle and it is hard to see them unhappy. I don't have much advice, not real sure how boys are wired, as I am a Mom to two girls, but I understand the words "very active". I hope you hear something from the psychologist after this next meeting. Hugs and hang in there.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Many of us have been there done that and we welcome you. Try to exhale. You are among friends...nameless friends from all over the place...but you can finally share all your feelings with-o fear. Hugs. DDD
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Welcome to our little corner of the Internet. I have two boys, and I know just how busy they can be.
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome. It is not clear from the information you give, of course, whether your son has a diagnosable condition or whether he just is one of those square pegs that are never really going to fit into round holes. If he has ADHD, for example, learning difficulties often go along with that. Are there alternative schools where you live and have you considered that as an option? Sounds as if your son is just not happy at school and at the beginning of his learning career, this is a great shame. It also sounds as if he is depressed. Is he bright in other ways?
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi Tracy! Welcome. I'm sorry for your little guy and for all the stress and concern. Kids don't want to be in trouble daily and it does a number on their self esteem.

    I hope the psychiatric can help but pls. realize that most of them are focused on mental health and family systems issues and if your son has an underlying condition/conditions that are interfering with his ability to do his school work, they are not qualified to diagnosis that and a lot of time can be lost trying to get him to be "good" when he really may not have the ability to do so yet.

    I agree a neuropsychology evaluation could be useful. You can do both, but don't listen to any doctor or psychiatric who says it's not necessary. They don't get it. Just say you want the info (no stone unturned and all!)....just mho. The neuropsychologist is specially trained to do a comprehensive evaluation to help figure out how behaviors and the brain are connected. Along with that you could pursue an occupational therapy evaluation to check for underlying subtle motor planning and processing challenges including visual and sensory integration problems. Kids can look very adhd when they have problems with how they perceive things they smell, see, taste, hear touch. They may try to avoid stimuli, become overwhelmed and loud, or need to touch, feel, etc more than other kids. The results from this will help the neuropsychologist. You could also seek an Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) to check for subtle problems understanding long directions, social use of communication, etc.

    Now.....about school. Any child who is daily having punishment should be a red flag that something is going on! Are you in the USA? ( im on my phone, can't see all the info)

    If so you have rights. You can write a letter requesting a special education evaluation. Don't listen if they say he has to be behind academically, not true. If his behavior is impacting his ability to participate in school he needs support. The mandate is to use positive behavioral interventions, (not daily trips to the principal----youd think by now they see that's not working, duh)

    Let us know if you would want to do that. We can help with wording. Most important is to mail it return receipt because that legally shows the request was received. If you sign an evaluation plan. There is a legal timeline for them to finish. I'd suggest doing it now, the end of the year things get pushed off sometimes.

    Glad you found us!


    Hi Tracy - You are definitely in the right place. I agree with Buddy that an evaluation has to be done at the school. The way you describe your son is MY son and I am in the process of finding him a good neuropsychologist to get a complete evaluation. EVERY day here is horrible right now. He is academically smart but gets SO frustrated, it's like he just CAN"T do the work...he gets so overwhelmed. Try to check in here often. I find that the more I do that, the better and saner I feel...:)


    Me again - just reread your post - my son, who is 11 was from two years old on both very active and defiant. EVERYONE kept telling me that "boys will be boys" and other things like that, but I KNEW - as mother's usually do - that it was more than that and to me, that becomes an insult to our intelligence. Also, my son is back to crying all day. It is a journey but you have to start to get anywhere. Hope we all have a good day...:)