new (uk) teen girl with possible odd

[Stella]

Hi, TerryJ2, the connors tests No.3 was over 100 questions and I had to do one, the school and my daughter herself, we then had to hand it in for the doctor to analyse the results. Yes, she is sensitive to some foods, mainly fizzy drinks, she wont eat foods together (will have them on the plate but eats them separately) wont have labels in clothes and has to wear tights under her jeans as she does not like the seams. Also she hates irritating noises like the vacuum cleaner, squeaky chair etc but she does not mind how loud she is and shouts a lot. She also cries easily with anger/frustration.

Hi again Cupcake. Reading the above, I am amazed and saddened that you have never heard of sensory integration issues. I was in the same boat until recently. Your daughter has obviously had these sensory problems all her life. I only learned about sensory problems myself within the last couple of years myself and my own daughter is now almost 11. Like your daughter, her problems have become progressively worse as she has got older as she hasn't had the correct intervention or treatment. When my daughter aged 3 would refuse to wear certain clothes and would gag when eating certain foods or when subjected to very strong smells, I just thought she was being defiant and difficult. Years of mistaking her sensory problems for defiance has surely only served to damage our relationship. She was misunderstood.

I am certain that when you start reading up about sensory issues you will be amazed as to how your daughter fits in to all of this. I have to agree that she sounds like she may have Aspergers Syndrome but I am by no means an expert in any of this.

From reading the above post it sounds to me like your daughter definitely has auditory sensory problems (hypersenstive to loud noises), taste issues (hence the fussiness with food) and tactile defensiveness (aversion to labels and seams etc)

Here is a link that you might find out more from;

http://www.sensoryintegration.org.uk/

An Occupational Therapist can help greatly with sensory problems

Also, sensory problems are often a symptom of something bigger like Aspergers or Autistic Specrum Disorder so research that too.

I have been very disheartened by the professionals I've liaised with regarding my own daughter and am still searching from a proper diagnosis. I mean the least they can do is read the file!

On the advice of many members on this board of have began searching for a Neuro-psychologist as apparently they are meant to be the best for pinpointing a correct diagnosis. I have discovered there are as little as ten in the whole country and there is a waiting list for some of up to two years. Anyhow, I'm on the case...

It is quieter on here at the weekend but I'm sure the others will be along soon with more advice and support.

Sending you hugs....

 

[cupcake]

Hi to nvts and stella,

I looked at the website for sensory information and it is really interesting and a lot of it does fit. Yes I think definitely the autisitic spectrum applies too although it can all get a bit confusing what with adhd, odd etc.

If I don't get much help from the pediatrician how can I get help from a neuropsychologist? does anyone know.

I have just read an american book called the defiant child, dealing with oppositional defiance disorder, it was very useful. However I am not sure if being a single mum dealing with a 14 year old who is over 3 inches taller than me means I can consistently withdraw privileges eg remove absolutely everything from their room except a bed, sheets and 2 days of clothes is realistic. I understand the concept of claiming back my parent role and being in charge.

Let me know what you think? so pleased to have others to talk to in similar situations

 

[Stella]

Hi Cupcake,

There are a lot of different books out there with a lot of different strategies but I think it's best to stick to one. I see Everywoman recommended The Explosive Child and I think you've said you've ordered this. I suggest that you read this the second it arrives in the post and go along with the strategy as outlined in this book. Many moms on here have found it very useful especially when dealing with a child with ODD. I agree that withdrawing priviledges and removing everything for her room is not a realistic approach and if you are already so doubtful that this approach will work with your child then it probably won't work as you know her best.

As far as an appointment with a Neuropsychologist I think the best way to go about it is to ask for an appointment from your GP. Most of them seem to be based in the mainstream hospitals here.

As far as the professionals that you have met so far are concerned, it seems they have already let you down.. It's time to become an advocate for your daughter, read, research and educate yourself as much as you can and one thing i've learned the hard way - be assertive. If it becomes evident that these people are not reading the relevant notes etc regarding your child, you have to put your foot down. Otherwise this will drag on another few years before you get answers and she is already 14 and hormones are kicking in. You need help NOW.

Best of luck and keep us posted!!!

 

[wakeupcall]

Hi Cupcake

My difficult child is almost 14 and I've been on this site for years. It's invaluable....really!

My difficult child has suffered ODD since he was about 2 years old, when he started retaliating everything with throwing things at me.

First off....THE EXPLOSIVE CHLD may seem elementary, but the gist of the book is that with children like ours, a parent has to let some behaviors go. Behaviors that one would not tolerate from a normal child sometimes have to be put on the back burner. difficult child is very disrespectful, and if my other children had behaved that way grrrrrrrr, but everything canNOT be a battle. Safety is a must.....but past that, a parent has to decide what's worth fighting over. For instance, I'm a housekeeping perfectionist, difficult child is not. I will not tolerate him trashing my house, but his room is his room. I have to shut the door and not look. It runs again my grain, but battling hour after hour and day after day is not the way to live a life. No, other family members will not understand, and the neighbors will think you have no control, but YOU are trying to live a life with as little stress as possible for both of you.

Stick around! The members here are a wonderful resource!

 

[cupcake]

Hi to Stella and wakeupcall,

Thanks for replying to my posts. I have to agree that I need to be assertive and educate myself and also to keep persevering.

I am still waiting for the book the explosive child, hopefully it will be delivered soon. I also am very houseproud and have learnt to close my eyes when going near her bedroom. Actually that raises another question as do others find their difficult child's are a bit lacking in the hygiene area? my daughter is truly obsessed with her hair and make up but hardly ever brushes her teeth or puts dirty clothes in the washing bin (just carries on wearing them) yuk!

I have recently been in contact with a man who runs a local adhd support group (he has several conditions related to adhd) so I will ask him about neuropsychologists for our area. I have also written to complain about the paediatrician who was incompetent and requested to see another doctor (I have already received phone calls trying to persuade me not to formally complain).

hope to hear from you soon x

 

[lizzie09]

Hello again cupcake


I have heard many of my friends with female difficult children talk about hygiene
issues.

A particular child Young woman I know of regularly goes to her daily course
quite smelly and throw in a periiod and you are talking Borderline Intellectual Functioning (BIF) whiff!

It must be difficult to make them shower etc.

I have not had a major problem here but trying to get the teeth cleaned isl like having to have them extracted.

At the moment my son is on a low and he point blank refuses to shower as he
normally does Oh well! Perhaps another day.