new update...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by tracyf551, Jun 30, 2009.

  1. tracyf551

    tracyf551 New Member

    Haven't spoken to difficult child for 2 1/2 weeks. I know where he is I just choose not to speak to him cuz he is sooooo nasty to me. He blames me for allllll his problems. (yes I make him steal, fight, shoot dope, and run all night) He will soon have a warrant for his arrest due to the retail theft he thinks will just go away. I am just waiting until they pick him up. At least then I know will know he doesn't have easy acsess to heroin, or at least I hope. He is staying at my mothers. Now she get a taste of how my life had been for years with him. He just comes in and sleeps there,but is not allowed to be there when they are not home and this weekend they are going away for 4 days. She told him he will have to find someplace else to stay. We'll see. I told her to tell him about getting into treatment for when he goes infront of the judge cuz it will help keep him out of jail plus get the help he needs. He told her no of course. I guess going to jail doesn't bother him. I can't imagine him in jail cuz really even though he is doing all this he still like a little kid in his mind. Still calls for "mommy" when trouble comes. I just can't help him anymore. I told my mom if she bails him out when he gets picked up I will no longer speak to her cuz by bailing him out she might as well stick the needle in his arm. She said she is not. She says he will actually be safer in the county jail than on the streets.
    I know in my area they are picking up kids on heroin charges left and right. At least 10 to 20 every other week. Many of them I have known for years. They do not realize this stuff is out there killing people daily. But they all think it will never happen to them. Well it does. It totally destroys familys, I know first hand it has totally ripped mine apart.
  2. maril

    maril New Member

    Tracy: I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your family. I really hope he opts for treatment; either way, I imagine you will have some peace of mind once he is away from the risky business. Hang in there. :warrior:
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry that difficult child is out of control. Not much you CAN do except wait until the law catches up with him. Lots of prayers and, for your aching mommy heart there are lot of hugs and a gentle massage.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so sorry. The waiting is horrible and then well...the aftermath is horrible too.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    What a scary situation, Tracy. I'm so sorry.

    Hang in there.

  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry he is so out of control, Tracy. Sad to say, they aren't going to hunt him down for retail theft unless he had some sort of organized crime ring going on. If he comes to your home and gets abusive, you should call the police. He shouldn't feel as though he is entitled to be a bully.

    I hope you all will be safe and well.
  7. tracyf551

    tracyf551 New Member

    Thank you all for the support. We live in a small town and I believe they will probablt look for him when the warrant comes out because in reality the local police have been watching him for years. They are all VERY familar with him. They all know who he is just by hearing his name. I told husband that if they come hear I will tell them exactly where he is. (If I know he is at my mom's and she is in agreement with that) She says when they come she is going to go down stairs and let them take him with no interferance. It will be difficult for her I know cuz I have witnessed him in cuffs before my self, but she knows it is for the best. He apparently is getting an attitude with her the same way he did me when he was here.
    Very snippy when she talks to him. Unless you have something for him or can do something for him he has an attitude.
    The biggest thing is he is a VERY smart person. Pulled A's and B's in school before he quit.
    I will never understand it.
    Thanks again.
  8. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Tracy - you sound exactly like me! We could have the same story. My son is on probation and needs to be hunted down - he told me not to the tell police where he was if they came looking. I know what it is like waiting. It is horrible. My son spent time with my parents too - they called me to come and get him before a week was out. That was about 8 years ago - today he is living with a friend and his girlfriend - he hasnt done much different - in fact I told him today I was done with him - I cant control what he does anymore - I will remember the person he was - the one we raised - it is sad - I cant enable him by lettinghim stay here - we have been in the same situation when we went out of town and couldnt let him stay by himself - he would stay in the car - we had so much stolen from our house it was horrible - we didnt trust him at all - he had a party one time when we tried to trust him and it almost destroyed our home - it took us days to clean it up - I am surprised the neighbors didnt call the police - I feel for your mom too but she needs to know what you have to deal with - time will take care of everything - hang in there - I have lived your life too