I've been lurking for a while now and though this would be a good place to post a dilema I'm facing. I have a difficult child neice who has a history of attachment issues steming from my difficult child family tree. Right now she's far away from family and seeming to do well for the first time in her life. This is from what she tells me the few times we have talked, although I can't trust anything that comes out of her mouth. Without writing a book, I'm thinking about visiting her over the Christmas holiday since I'll be in her area. However, I am also aware from experiences when she lived with me that seperation/reunion can be very challenging for her. From what she tells me, and from viewing her academic account, she's closer to being a easy child than ever. She's finished a semester of uni with-o any meltdowns and seemed coherent about working on the next semester. I want to come and give her support, a nice dinner, but am also worried it could cause destabilization. Not sure if anyone else has dealt with difficult child's with attachment issues, and what they're experience is about suprising them. If she were a easy child, I'd expect a pleasent reception that a favorite aunt is visiting, but with her, well, from what I've seen, it could become a fiasco. I see her stabilizing, which makes me want to see if I can take the next step, integrate her into family, although I don't know if that'll cause her to backslide. Background: Whoops baby by my difficult child brother. Lived with my other difficult child bro and his difficult child son until difficult child brother decided to take responsibility. Bro moved, left her with Bio mom difficult child who couldn't handle her. Too many issues to name, I took custody. Bio parents decided to play house, took her to the other side of the country. Not clear what went on there, came back to me at 15 with more issues than she had. Hospitalized, Residential Treatment Center (RTC) at 16-17. Only diagnosis people can agree on is attachment disorder. Been on medications, not on them now, seems to be fine as long as she stays out of close relationships and doesn't do any long term planning (again from what SHE says). Other possible diagnosis: bipolar mixed features, ODD, CD, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, depression, schizo-effective (not all diagnosis by same doctor or at the same time, just writing stuff down that psychiatric evaluations have produced). Now this was a book. Hope someone can take the time to read it. Thanks!