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Parent Emeritus
New Year New Attitude
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 706348" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>COM: I struggle with "getting sucked" back in to my son's on going situations when he calls me. I had boundaries set up, but he knows how to feed me bits of information that makes me go hmmmm. I am an Analyst, so my nature is to dig and research. Yesterday I had the day from hell and it taught me yet again, "careful trying to find out more information thinking you are helping because most times, its way more then you ever thought it would be and can actually hurt more then help. My boundary wall is back up again, and endless cycle it seems.</p><p></p><p>I love your questions, what is enabling, what is manipulating, controlling, managing all to try and fix. They are all very thin lines. </p><p></p><p>I have used many times to son when he calls in a panic " I love you, I know you will figure it out I have to go to a meeting, talk to you soon". This gives me an out, gives me time to resist the urge to offer solutions.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 706348, member: 19951"] COM: I struggle with "getting sucked" back in to my son's on going situations when he calls me. I had boundaries set up, but he knows how to feed me bits of information that makes me go hmmmm. I am an Analyst, so my nature is to dig and research. Yesterday I had the day from hell and it taught me yet again, "careful trying to find out more information thinking you are helping because most times, its way more then you ever thought it would be and can actually hurt more then help. My boundary wall is back up again, and endless cycle it seems. I love your questions, what is enabling, what is manipulating, controlling, managing all to try and fix. They are all very thin lines. I have used many times to son when he calls in a panic " I love you, I know you will figure it out I have to go to a meeting, talk to you soon". This gives me an out, gives me time to resist the urge to offer solutions. [/QUOTE]
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