New Year's Eve was a bust !!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jannie, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    So we left at 11:50 escorting a screaming and kicking difficult child... :hammer: :grrr: Maybe we planned too much.... I guess I was just hoping my kids could handle a fun evening...The other six kids and three families did fine...Oh yeah !! I have difficult children :sad: I can't have a life like so much of the rest of this world.

    On a positive note...they enjoyed the show...we were at a dinner theater for New Years Eve...

    I just wish they could have made it 30 more I'm just embarressed as usual.

    Happy New Year my friends :happy_new_year: Thanks for always listening
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sorry you had a disappointing ushering in of 2008. Can we hope that it is getting the worst of it out of the way early so as to have a better rest of the year.???? Hope things have since calmed down.

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Jannie, don't feel embarrassed. Kids will be kids, difficult children will be difficult children, especially. New Year's Eve is a HUGE break in routine for them - any other people there who do not understand are not worth bothering with. Certainly not worth impressing.

    Think of it this way - other families there were probably grateful that they weren't in your shoes. You made them feel better about their own situations. So you are a good person, making other people feel good. That is not something to be embarrassed about.

    And if you're worried about other people thinking you're a bad parent - don't. What YOU know yourself to be, and what your children will think of you when they're grown - THAT is what is important.

    Parents stop having fun when they have children. Any fun gleaned in the subsequent years is purely coincidental and does not reflect the opinions of the ruling majority.

    Some things definitely worthwhile when you have kids - seeing new things from their fresh point of view. Sharing joy with them on a child-to-child basis. If this means that next year you choose to celebrate New Year in a different way, so be it.

    We had planned to go out and spend New Year with friends who had sent out a general invitation to their house. I thought it would have been good for difficult child 3, finally getting old enough to try to blend in a bit more and not be closeted away. The invitation said to bring your kids, difficult children and all. Swimming pool to be used (it's midsummer here) while the parents sip wine on the balcony and watch the city fireworks. In Sydney, the New Year's Eve fireworks are doubled up, with a 9 pm display for those whose kids are just too young to stay up.
    But we didn't get to go. I had just spent the day in hospital with severe headache of unknown cause and husband didn't want me to risk getting it back again. So we stayed home, him, me and difficult child 3. Again. We watched TV and then watched the fireworks. Instead of a friend's second storey balcony, we had to crane our necks in the street to see just the highest ones. But we still enjoyed ourselves. Yes, we would have had more fun socialising and being 'normal', but life is unpredictable and keeps us on our toes.

    Last year we had family visiting, and we had our own party. At midnight we let the kids go outside to light sparklers and light sticks. difficult child 3 had gone to bed when it all got too much, but we woke him up and let him join in the fun, before we took him home and put him to bed.

    We make our own fun with our kids, according to what they (and we) can handle.

    It's OK for a kid to sleep in a corner, or in a borrowed bed, until it's time for the countdown. Too often we try to live as if we have no kids at all, or as if they are an inconvenience hampering our lifestyle. We forget that our aim for the next twenty years is to raise this small person to be able to live a positive, fulfilling and productive life, independent of us. This means that for some time, they rely on us to meet their needs. It is important for them to see us looking after our own needs, but when t here are major changes in their routine we need to expect (and plan for) problems. They happen with all kids, not just difficult children.

    With difficult children - if a roomful of people and especially other kids, all hyped up and hopped up on sugar, is NOT a good mix, then perhaps limiting the time exposed to this is best. A short visit earlier in the night with an early departure before problems break out is a success. Next year maybe the visit can be for longer.

    The new year begins now. I hope it improves for you from here.

  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry the evening ended on a bad note. I'm glad they did well earlier in the evening. Don't feel embarrassed-it was late and I'm sure the others understood. Hugs and here's hoping the rest of '08 is much smoother!
  5. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I understand completely. Every once and a while you hope your difficult child and your family don't have to stand out for difficult child drama.
    Hope the rest of the year goes smoother.
    Hugs. :bag:
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    you were so close...... sorry the evening ended on a difficult child note. You know we understand. I hope today is a little better.

  7. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Thank you all for your kind words. I'm actually not that embarassed just disappointed. I do know, however, that I was asking a lot of my kids...

    And actually the first 30 minutes of the event difficult child 2 got totally stressed out...refused to eat anything....overwhelmed with the crowd and all the it started out rough and it ended rough.

    And to top it off....we woke up this morning to a dead hamster. :crying: This was difficult child and it was only a week old.

    Marge-your posts are always so moving...I'm sorry your New Year's Eve didn't go as planned. Is your headache better?
  8. We did not do anything. I stayed home with the kids because we had just spent the day before at a family reunion and they were pretty good.

    I knew we would be pushing our luck going to something last night!

    But last year they had fun at my husband's friend from work's party. I said go alone this year and you can have fun! He stayed alot longer than last year because no kids and it was his Wii they were using!!!

    Truly sorry your fun night ended too early!!!
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Jannie, I'm sorry your New Year's Eve celebration didn't go as planned. It's plain hard having difficult children, but we just gotta do the best we can. Hope the rest of 2008 is smoother.

    I'm also sorry about the hamster. Not sure how your difficult child would react, but depending on the pet store's policies, there may be a 30-day guarantee that would allow you to get a second hamster for free.
  10. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    difficult child is handling the hamster loss pretty well....the hamster has not done well since we brought it home...They do have a 15 day policy...I'd love to say he doesn't deserve a new one because he has been a pill...but I'm not going to do's hard enough that she died...and I realy don't like using pets as consequences....

    We've had good luck with pets...we have two guniea pigs for about 1 1/2 years and also many frogs and toads. The frogs and toads were all found outside..and we feed them crickets...and some have lived since two summers ago...
  11. ML

    ML Guest


    Thank GOD it's one day at a time and really one day can't dictate the tone of the next 364.

    I truly hope you have a better rest of the day.

    I'm surprised our hamster has made it this long. It must have a strong will. difficult child won't touch him because he's afraid to get bitten but he does pet him.

    I hope Marg's headache is better too.

    I'm not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. I have had so much fun posting daily for the past week.